Zebra

Mr. Crazy, Esq.

Posted by Princess MoMo on Dec 28 in Adventures of Princess MoMo, Men

I don’t write these stories; they practically write themselves. Once upon a time, I attended a reputable institution of higher learning.  While there, I met Mr. Crazy, Esq.  We weren’t best friends and we weren’t lovers.  One might categorize us as kind-of-friends, at best.  I’ll explain how we met later in the story.  Anyway, one […]

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Mr. Buffalo Bill

Posted by Princess MoMo on Feb 28 in Adventures of Princess MoMo, Dating, Men, Online dating, Texts, what not to do

  Mr. Buffalo Bill and I Bumble matched and exchanged some decent banter.  Because we live near one another, we agreed to meet for a drink. I presented my exit strategy pre-meeting, notifying him that the drink would have to be quick because I had to go walk my creatures.  I spotted him seated at […]

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Zebra

Mr. Halloween and Mr. Hashtag

Posted by Princess MoMo on Nov 27 in Miscellaneous

Mr. Halloween and Mr. Hashtag It’s been a while since I’ve regaled you with my dating tales and misadventures. To make up for lost time, I will introduce you to two characters in this entry. It was a cold Halloweeny October 31, 2017. One we will call Mr. Halloween and I matched on Bumble.  Messages […]

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Online Dating Clichés

Why not to write in your online dating bio: Here are the most cliché things I’ve observed on Bumble, a dating app similar to Tinder except that it requires women to initiate contact and has an expiration time on matches. Looking for a “down to earth” girl. – Really? Do these men frequently encounter women […]

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Zebra

Shout out to Traitor Jo’s Friends…

Stuck in my business like in a dope fiend’s arm, a needle Thought by now you’d have overdosed, too much MoMo’s lethal You’re toxic and shitty, matter of a fact, you’re not friends, you’re fecal Bet you’ve been refreshing my site, searching for some more, a saucy sequel You can’t get enough of this rhyming […]

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Zebra

Traitor Jo Rap

Honesty is the best policy, but your pathology had you chronically lying to me, now you come with an apology for the distorted and twisted chronology, but it’s not genuine, much like reverse psychology, time to clean up that shit, call it a cleansing colonoscopy No hard feelings or bad blood, bet you can relate […]

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Zebra

Douche Frog: Mr. All Regrets

Posted by Princess MoMo on Feb 8 in douche frogs
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Zebra

Douche Frog: Mr. Entitled

Posted by Princess MoMo on Feb 7 in douche frogs, Online dating
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Zebra

Douche Frog: Autoincorrect

Posted by Princess MoMo on Feb 1 in douche frogs, Online dating, screenshots, what not to do
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Zebra

Social Experiment: Have a baby by me, baby

Posted by Princess MoMo on Jan 10 in Miscellaneous

Introduction: This report discusses a social experiment exploring the willingness of men to father (and, ideally, co-parent) a child with a female they’ve never met and know little to nothing about. The objective of the experiment is to test male people’s willingness to fully abstain from “soul mate” interaction or traditional parenting paradigm in agreeing to create […]

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Online Dating Greetings: Don’t Cockblock Yourself

Posted by Princess MoMo on Dec 26 in Current Events, Dating, Dating Advice, MoMo's mind, MoMo's Musings, Online dating

“Hi.” “How are you?” “How’s your Tuesday?” “How was your breakfast?” “How are your holidays?” “You’re pretty. I’d like to get to know you.” “We have a lot in common. Let’s chat.”   Garbage.  Landfill quality, non-recyclable garbage worthy of no response other than, if at all, “thanks for the trash.” Think about it.  If […]

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Zebra

Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: Picasso

Posted by Princess MoMo on Nov 28 in Dating, Poems, rap battle

Picasso2015 11/26/2016 8:32:32 AM Report this message for inappropriate content It’s too early for this shit, but im a real MC too legit , Sucker for a challenge, I guess that’s my talent, middle eastern roots, so you know I got game, I’m on one like Khalid but I ain’t on snapchat for the fame, […]

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Zebra

Mr. Traveler Part III

Posted by Princess MoMo on Sep 22 in Adventures of Princess MoMo, Dating, Men

Click here for Part I Click here for Part II Day 3 The following morning, I left before he did.  Neither of us knew what the other was up to that evening, which was fine because, after all, we were merely host and traveler, right? He wasn’t home when I arrived from work.  Shortly thereafter, […]

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Zebra

Mr. Traveler Part II

Posted by Princess MoMo on Sep 21 in Adventures of Princess MoMo, Dating, Men

Click here for Part I DAY 2 I hate mosquitoes, but my woes with mosquitoes had not yet begun at this point.  So, we’ll save that passionate tirade for another time.  On Day 2, I woke up and prepared myself to go out into the world to be adult as fuck. (MoMo to English translation: […]

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Zebra

Mr. Traveler

Posted by Princess MoMo on Sep 20 in Adventures of Princess MoMo, Dating, Men

Mr. Traveler A good friend of mine (we’ll call her Ms. Host) had some overflow in her AirBnB reservations and so she asked me if I was interested in hosting one of her travelers.  Thus, I decided to join the hospitality industry, which as it turns out, is arguably more entertaining than dating and the […]

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Zebra

Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: An Ode to Aladdin Part III

Posted by Princess MoMo on Aug 15 in Online dating, Poems, rap battle

Part I Part II GenericHero 7/25/2016 11:43:50 AM Report this message for inappropriate content You got some fancy words but so do I I don’t need 5 syllables to be soundin’ fly Got you researchin’ words cause my rhymes you hatin’ I’m more dangerous then internet datin’ Now all bets are off and my game […]

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