Gchat: Evil Female Specimen Ploys

Posted by Princess MoMo on May 17 in gchat, Princess MoMo's Friends

April 4, 2011

me: he apologized for the “inconvenience”

did your girl do the same?

Inar: yes

me: she did?

Inar: at least…but it didnt leave me satisfied

yes

me: haha

hilarious

sorry ass saturday hook ups

Inar: i know

i mean i thought maybe i was just drunk sat night

but then we tried again sunday morning

no luck

me: see how nice we are?

giving these people multiple chances

Inar: i know

me: and then all they do is disappoint repeatedly

Inar: worst part is she left her earrings at my place so now she wants to come back and get them

what a waste that will be

me: that’s the worst. i hate leaving my stuff places that i never want to go again, especially because the male inevitably thinks it’s intentional

Inar: i never want to go “there” again either…

thanks for the trash of a sat night

me: omg

speaking of thanks for the trash

i explained to this guy the “thanks for the trash” line

and he didn’t appreciate it

 

May 2, 2011

Inar: remember homegirl that left her necklace at my place?

me: i thought it was earrings?

Inar: both

well now she wants to have coffee so i can give them back to her

i told her i was busy and probably couldnt do coffee for a couple of weeks

and that she could pick em up whenever…but no, she told me she’ll wait

 

May 3, 2011

me: you can tell her you’ve developed a sudden inexplicable allergy to coffee

Inar: would it be mean to say i’ll mail them?

me: why don’t you want to see her?

Inar: account for the fact that this girl sucked

me: ok got it

well, then who cares if it’s mean?

anyway, i’m assuming these are piece of crap pieces of jewelry…otherwise she wouldn’t be waiting out on them for so long

so she obviously wants to see you for purposes beyond reacquiring her accessories

so either you have to be honest, or get stuck with her suckiness again

me: and it’s on account of stunts like that of this girl that i lose a lot of my belongings

obviously, items are left behind either intentionally or inadvertently

when i leave items behind, it is ALWAYs inadvertent

but then i don’t want to ask for them back because the specimen assumes it’s intentional and/or because i don’t want to see the specimen ever again

Inar: the earrings were waiting out on my floor

the necklace though was right on my dresser in plain view

me: i once left my traveling beer pong table behind

i couldn’t forsake that though

i was going to ask him to leave it outside of his house so that i could pick it up

but i was advised not to do that

Inar: damn that sucks!

me: so instead i asked if we could make arrangements

Inar: i want to see this thing

advised not to do that why?

me: well, because the guy wasn’t terrible and still had some shelf life

in fact, i’m inclined to believe that you still have a pair of my earrings and a shirt

from 2009

will you mail them to me?

or do you want to meet for coffee?

Inar: coffee!

i dont have any of your stuff

i keep track of left-behind belongings

i think i do have a hair tie thingy from you but that’s about it

me: hmmz…did you dispose of them or did i recover them?

the earrings are green

the shirt is like tie-dye brown and green

Inar: i wouldnt just throw em away

me: anyway, i don’t miss them that much so it’s fine

do you remember our covert op to exchange clothing the one day?

i left a dress at your place

Inar: hah no

me: and i had your pants and shirt

oh man

it was funny

Inar: oh ya thats right!

Inar: i think you swapped my sheets too

cuz you smeared a cookie all over them!

me: i used to wake up with all sorts of food on my bed

i once woke up with a half eaten hotdog in a bu

bun*

so i had it for breakfast

very convenient

several times i woke up with pizza all over me and the sheets

but i have a logical explanation for that

the pizza was probably too hot

so i let it sit there to cool down

but then i fell asleep

and rolled onto it

btw, i found the gchat from 2009

Inar: ridiculous

me:

me: inar you little palestinian bastard

i want my clothes

i asked for an arrangement of even exchange

stop being unreasonable

Inar: haha

gees

ok

what time will this exchange take place?

and make sure no one follows you

me: i get out of class at 9

by the fucking way

what are you doing tonight

dare i ask??????????????

Inar: no plans right now

me: yes you do

and they involve me

Inar: ok

what are we doing?

me: it’s a surprise

Inar: ahh

me: but it involves drinking

Inar: just as i suspected

me: :)

Inar: hah nice
oh those were simpler times

“you little palestinian bastard” WTF! haha

me: haha

i’m such a loving friend

Inar: yes

the real momo is so kind

me: we used to have so much fun :(

now we’re lame adults with professional jobs

at least you still have some semblance of a social life

i just go out on stupid dates and blog about it :(

Inar: hah

me: so this guy i’m talking to just sent me an email with a picture and here’s the narrative portion of the email: Here’s a picture of another facility I had to visit today that processes mostly garbage, but every once in a while finds stuff worth keeping. It made me think of you, haha

Inar: ouch

might as well have called you a little egyptian bastard

me: it’s funny because i asked you to make arrangements just like i did with the beer pong guy

at least i’m consistent

Inar: “by the fucking way”

me: haha what’s wrong with that

?

that’s because during that particular time period, you kept not going out with us because you were “dating”

what do you want your alias to be on the blog?

Inar: hmm

ill think it over gotta run to a short meeting

brb

me: ok at least now you have something productive to think about during your meeting

 

 

May 12, 2011

Inar: Finally made arrangements to hand off that damn necklace and earrings

what a pain

thankfully just a clean handoff, 30 second conversation, and gonzo

me: She picked them up?

Inar: yes

thank goodness…had to turn down her coffee request 3 times

and she brought her best friend to the exchange…wtf?

not like she was winning an award or anything

me: Moral support

Inar: gay support



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