Princess MoMo’s mama enlisted her to assist with one of the worst things imaginable: manual labor. Upon parking her MoMo-mobile, Princess MoMo witnessed her brother from the same mother conducting some terrain-oriented reconnaissance and hood MacGyver-ing the castle gate infrastructure. Using cable ties, he was attaching poultry netting to the bottom of the fence. Why? This homeland security measure was intended to ensure that the pack members of Princess MoMo’s huahua brigade do not escape from the castle premises, without persistent surveillance. Given the small size of the huahuas and their Napoleon complexes, some of them sneak through the fence and engage in guerilla warfare with the large neighboring canines.
Before joining the Special Forces in Operation Huahua Exodus Limiting Logistics (“HELL”), MoMo had to fuel her body. She entered the kitchen to find that someone had prepared the food of the gods. She consumed these two savory hot dogs. Next, she had to change the lower portion of her attire. The most readily available substitute article of clothing was a pair of her brother’s basketball shorts. MoMo also shielded her eyes with day vision goggles lest the outdoor rays of light impinge on her optics. At 1400 HOURS, she stepped outside ready for active duty, appropriately garbed in a zebra-patterned shirt, extra large basketball shorts, neon orange flip-flips and pink sunglasses.
Her first encounter with the cable ties was unsuccessful. Because of MoMo’s lack of critical intelligence, her brother told her that he would create a blog with the URL StupidMoMo.com. Neither sticks, nor stones, nor anything else has broken MoMo’s bones and certainly, words never hurt her.
Princess MoMo gradually grew accustomed to the demands of HELL. Notwithstanding her improvement, her brother, likely jealous of her fine workmanship, continued to mock MoMo. Princess MoMo told him that if he didn’t shut his mouth, she would get off of her grass covered ass and slap him until he was screaming, “MoMo don’t hit me no mo’!” HELL hath no fury like a scorned Princess MoMo.
After she toiled in the sun for hours, MoMo thought she was honorably discharged. She sat in the kitchen pleased with her inactive status. When the gates of HELL were completed, the commander and chief of the Operation (MoMo’s mama) and MoMo’s brother joined MoMo inside of the castle. MoMo said, “I can’t believe we finished this all in one day.” In unison, MoMo’s mama and brother said, “WE?!” MoMo’s contributions to HELL were not appreciated. :(