Guest Submission: Mr. Marathon Runner Part II

Posted by Princess MoMo on Dec 29 in Dating, Dating Advice, Epic fails, Guest Submissions, Men, Online dating

Click here for Part I

December 29, 2011

Female Friend: So I get a text message last night while I was out cold with this fucking cold and it’s of the dish he was suppose to make for me tonight.. So basically he’s enjoying it while it’s hot and I am suppose to enjoy his left over tonight.. Fuck nah!

Marathon specimen is done with.. Next!

[Editor’s Note: Just when you thought he couldn’t get any douchier, Mr. Marathon Runner surprises us all!]

Princess MoMo: So, let me get this straight: He cooked himself dinner last night and was planning on reheating it for you tonight?

[Editor’s Note: There’s nothing wrong with leftovers.  I’m not a picky eater, aside from my onion aversion.  But, if you tell a specimen that you’re going to cook him/her dinner, reheating leftovers from the previous night isn’t impressive (at all). ]

Female Friend: Damn right!!!! It takes hours to cook so his original plan was to get up early this morning and make it but apparently he couldn’t wait. The fucking nerve!!!!!

Princess MoMo: What did he make? And what was your response to his text?

Female Friend: It’s a caribbean dish , oxtail .. I have yet to respond to his text. I was planning on just ignoring him and let it go…
I just a text … I called him a cornball and I do not associate with such creatures and he responded with are you trying to get my attention. I do not believe in violence but I would have knocked him out if he was in front of me.

[Editor’s Note: Is this guy serious?  This is a testimony to the male ego; it is far larger than even the MoMo Ego.]

Princess MoMo:  Is he incredibly good looking?

[Editor’s Note: Exceptional good looks would not excuse this character’s behavior; rather, they would better explain it.   Society tends to grant more leeway to good looking specimens, particularly females, with respect to their behavior.  It may seem unfair, but that’s life.  Humans are programmed to be attracted to certain physical traits.  Don’t like that?  Write a complaint to God, mother nature, or Darwin.  I doubt any of those three will care what you have to say, though.]

Female Friend: He’s good looking . Not incredible but good looking.. Tall , nice teeth(very important) very intelligent and tall..

[Editor’s Note: Nice teeth are definitely a turn on.]

Princess MoMo:  But why such douchery?

Female Friend: I couldn’t tell you!!!!! Damn I hate assholes and when we first spoke I asked him do you have asshole tendencies? He thought that was funny….

[Editor’s Note: Asking someone if he has asshole tendencies isn’t effective as a method of screening him.  First, he may lie (which doesn’t advance your position).  Second, he may truthfully say yes (in which case you’ll probably laugh it off and continue seeing him).  Third, he may truthfully say no (but your view of “asshole tendencies” may differ from his).  Fourth, he may laugh.  If he laughs and doesn’t otherwise answer the question, he’s probably an asshole.]

comments: 1 »

One Response to “Guest Submission: Mr. Marathon Runner Part II”

  1. CTS says:

    How is it a surprise that he committed another douchey maneuver? It couldn’t have been any more predictable.

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