Guy: “So I know for a fact we could make really cute and talented kids but do you think we could get along? Only asking because I’m drunk at a bbq.”
Guy: “you handle breaking up like a warrior….lol…maybe I’m a little chauvinistic but I always picture a chick crying into her cat after a break up regardless of who broke up with who. You’re challenging my long-held presumptions and I’m uncomfortable with that. Kindly go into a tail spin of depression or at least gain some weight so my world view isn’t completely destroyed…”
Jessica: “He’s from the South, so you don’t know what he is capable of.”
Anonymous: “She brainwashed their son. We used to have a great relationship, but now he calls me the ‘h’ word and spits in my face.” Me: “What ‘h’ word?” Anonymous: “Whore.”
John: I’m not that good. There’s only one Princess that can achieve that level of singularity between both rage and control… It’s both a terrifying and beautiful site at the same time. Like a Phoenix hurtling towards you. Its an amazing occurrence but It’s going to hurt… A LOT!
Me (to my mom with regard to my pissed-off-ness at my brother): Thanks for the genetic trash. Mom: You’re from the same trash can.
Priceless!!!
Still laughing!
‘h’ word!!!!!!!!!! OMG, too funny for words.