Online Dating Fails: Stalkerdate.com – HippyMike the Poet

Posted by Princess MoMo on Jul 21 in Epic fails, Men, Online dating, Poems, StalkerDate.com

After countless communications and dates with unfulfilling specimens,  Princess MoMo has officially quit her quest for Prince MoMo.  However,  her online dating profiles remain active AND for the greater good, your entertainment (yes, she's a benevolent Princess), from time to time, she joins new dating sites.   Last time she joined a new site, she quickly (in less than 24 hours, in fact) realized that she had entered the cyber landfill of the online dating world.

 

The latest of these sites has proven to be a fertile ground for men with stalker tendencies.  What better way to get a girl's attention than to send her 3-10 messages, without response, in a 72 (or less) hour time frame? The great news is that their messages, in and of themselves, are amusing.   Below is the first installment courtesy of stalkerdate.com.

 

Thursday June 2, 2011 message from HippyMike

Age: 40
Location: Scranton, PA

 

The Pretty Woman!
by Kumar
Who is this strange girl that i saw just now,
she seems to break into my heart,if i don't allow,
everything about her seems to attract me so much,
a feeling that seems sweeter than my mothers touch.

she has got some magic in those enchanting eyes,
one look is enough,like the bird my heart flies,
it seems a star is walking down on this earth
shining gracefully to take away my breath.

As she slowly walks,the earth seems to shake,
i feel the earth is dancing to make me awake,
to let me know,the angel walking on this earth,
to tell she is one i was waiting from my birth.

Seeing this angel even the stars seem to wink,
even the all mighty sun is running way to sink,
every night she is taking control over my dreams,
like a god controlling this universe it seems.

i think of giving a flower to her,hour after hour,
then i wonder,how can i give a flower to a flower,
what should i give to let her know my feeling,
i can't give my heart,which she is already stealing.

Fate has got its own plans for every ones life,
Only the time will tell,whether she will be my wife
Whether she is going to my girl or me her man,
for now she is only one i call "The Pretty Woman"

Hello princess i really loved your profile i would have loved to get to know more about you unfortunately i did not pass all the requirements to proceed i am over 35 divorced with kids if by chance the beautiful CEO decides to change the requirements by all means drop me a line  for now maybe i could be a friend have a wonderful day princess

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Thursday June 2, 2011 again!

The World’s Most Beautiful

I’d give anything to see the sun set on the horizon,
I’d do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky;
Even a rainbow would make me smile,
And I’d love to swim in crystal clear waters
Of an untouched sea;
Sometimes I’ll see a shooting star,
And try to gaze from afar,
All the diamonds in the night sky;
The mist on the mountains is breathtaking,
As is walking in rain forest;
To see cascading waterfalls I’d do anything for,
As to stand on the highest peak in the world,
And look at the sights below;
I’d love to soar on wings above the clouds,
Across the bluest skies;
I’d do anything to see
All the beautiful things in the world,
Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara,
Like a river twisting through a dusty land,
All the beautiful things in the world;

But I also know I am looking at
The world’s most beautiful creation,
Every time you smile,
And every time I look into your eyes

Hello beautiful Princess by chance are you calling me back for a more intense interview lol  not sure how this site works if you can contact me or not if not here maybe at mike.REDACTED71970@yahoo.com or i could meet you in the chat rooms ill be in the new york region ok hope to see you there mike 

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Thursday June 2, 2011 AGAIN!!!!

Hello Princess i have been thinking about you all day cant seem to focus on anything else but you anyway i just wanted to say hello hope your day was wonderful and your having a awesome night mike 

The Reasons You Are Beautiful

To the girl whose beauty is present in all seasons
I tell you why you are beautiful, here are the reasons:

Your beauty extends into the heavens,
it goes on forever and never lessens.
Even when the clouds heighten
you are here and the world brightens.
You are like a fruit that constantly ripens
your beauty continues to grow no mater what happens.

My fondness for you constantly deepens
because every time I see you my heart starts to weaken.
You make everything else appear hollow
where ever you are loveliness is sure to follow.
You shine so bright you cast your own shadow
a beauty that others would love to borrow.
But try as they might your beauty they will never catch
because something like you they could never match.

Your beauty seems to increase with every breathe
it tests the limits my imagination can stretch.
It makes me question if what I am seeing is real
I only know it is true by the way that I feel.
Your beauty is so vast it can't be concealed
there is no hiding it your beauty is always revealed.

The power of your beauty is the world's greatest gift
the heaviest boulder it could easily lift.
A girl this perfect I never knew
all that changed the moment I met you.
Heaven on Earth I was not aware
until I met a girl that was crafted with such care.
You would be the answer to a prayer
if someone asked for something rare with beauty to spare.
If I had a choice I would choose this girl over air
for air can't compare to a girl not found elsewhere.

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Sunday June 5, 2011

Hello Princess how are you ? i am new to this online dating thing not sure how it works or if you are even interested in me what i do know is i have not stopped thinking about you since i read your profile if you are interested and cant contact me here if you want to email me at mike.REDACTED71970 a t y a h o o d o t c o m or maybe call or text me at 570-REDACTED-7466 maybe we are not meant to be a couple maybe just friends either one i would be very happy with ok i hope you had a wonderful weekend i hope to hear from you if not take care princess i hope you find the right one who treats you right  mike

 

 

 

PRINCESS MoMo's RESPONSE:

 

Dear Mr. HippyMike,

Me, Inc. appreciates your interest and the time you have invested in applying, even though your poems were unoriginal.  The CEO personally reads each correspondence addressed to Me, Inc. and would like to thank you for your application.  After a review of your multiple submissions, it has been determined that your qualifications do not meet those sought by Me, Inc.  Accordingly, we cannot offer you a position with the organization at this time, or ever.

Best wishes for success in locating the opportunity you deserve.

Very truly yours,

Human Resources

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