DrMantisToboggen 2/8/2016 2:01:31 AM Report this message for inappropriate content Ok ok. Mic check. Ok. Princess from somewhere, shine like a sun glare I need SPF like uncle phil needs some hair See I read your rhyme so in kind I had to blast one Seven or eight boyfriends? Now meet your last one All […]
Guest Submission: Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition
I’ve written two posts about Mr. Redcoat: Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas The Easter Bunny In response to the second post, Mr. Redcoat decided he wanted to issue a rebuttal. Here’s his piece: Mr Redcoat and the Princess The ‘Princess’ has been kind enough to afford me the opportunity to post a response […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: Surrender
CJ0806 2/7/2016 2:12:39 AM Report this message for inappropriate content Your rap is copying the fresh prince song. I can do much better than that. Yo my name is Chris, I have to go piss, I’m in grad school because I’m looking for a tool to become successful, I’m in marketing but like farting, I […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: 90s Rap Theme
workorbeach 1/26/2016 5:11:41 PM Yo, Philosophish, let’s kick it! Hey hey baby Hey hey baby All right stop Read this email and listen Jay is here with a brand new invention The beach grabs a hold of me tightly Favorite place to spend my days both daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo, No […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: Marty aka Lil Bitch
Me: It’s cute how you initiated contact, now you say I’m too thin. Something else clearly lacking thickness is your little bitch skin. I kept it 100 and honest with you from the gate. In return, you’re mailing me insecurity-fueled hate. I’m flying nowhere; can’t board the plane; I’m the bomb. Now run along, […]
Mr. Hong Kong in New York
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part III (Sodom, Gomorrah, and Rihanna). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part IV (Let There be Light). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part V (Farewell). I […]
The Easter Bunny
I recently made the error of relegating my eggs to solitary confinement in someone’s basket of hypocrisy, insecurity, and self-absorption. Should I tell you how I really feel? Ok. So, I had posted a lovely, poetic piece about my initial encounters with Mr. Redcoat. As is the case with many first encounters, Mr. Redcoat sent […]