Apparently, I should have started this blog 15 years ago. I came across a message to a 2005 specimen regarding another specimen that I met in October 2005. Here’s the message: Subject line: weird text messages i hope you’re having fun in PA with your jewish festivities. i have a story for you regarding weird […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Program for Mike to Attend
I have an account with $456,879,457,348,230,120,234,436,234,742.23 (USD) that I need to transfer to your country. If you choose to accept this mission and it is successfully completed you can keep 1% of the total amount. If not, I will have to kill you. Okay so I got an email of programs for graduating seniors. I […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike misses Princess MoMo
Princess MoMo, Hello. My name is Michael [redacted]. I miss your big beautiful eyes and your sparkling personality. I have traveled far and wide and you were right, there are no replacements for the Princess. Ironically, as I typed the last line I found a strand of your hair. I know you are about to say “its not […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike makes a picture for Princess MoMo
Previous Correspondence with Mike: Princess MoMo makes a picture for Mike Mike responds to the picture Mike’s message and attached photo (original photo has been altered in order to protect the identity of Princess MoMo): Hope you are having a wonderful day. It was a busy day at the office but I just want to know […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike’s Response
In response to the lovely picture I sent him, Mike wrote: haha. It’s amazing how I threw you out of my car and house, you ruined my b-day and made me miss the championship game last night but yet you still can make me laugh. Is this the “waning” off period? Is that how u […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 3, The Final Chapter
To review Part 1, click here. To review Part 2, click here. EMAIL FROM PRINCESS TO SPECIMEN Introduction: It just seems that there is no progress since I have met you. My heat is still fucking broken. And the guy has changed the thermostat THREE times. And just to clarify, my responses are the ones […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 2
EMAIL FROM SPECIMEN TO PRINCESS (in response to this) my nuts are better. while having essentially an opposite mental and emotional connotation than your opening, it too is a great opening line. I thought it necessary to tell you, because with my recent healing I feel as though I just stopped pms’ing. It is amazing […]
Emails to Ex Specimens: Mike
I once sent an email to a specimen I was dating at the time with the subject line “A picture for you” with the following picture attached to the body. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.
Emails to Ex Specimens: The Fishman Swims Upstream – Part 1
EMAIL FROM PRINCESS TO SPECIMEN i just got my period. great opening line, i know. but the implication is that i didn’t know i was pmsing this last week. i had a suspicion because i was inexplicably bitchy in the way that i am when i’m pmsing. umm but the thing is that i just […]