Mr. Buffalo Bill and I Bumble matched and exchanged some decent banter. Because we live near one another, we agreed to meet for a drink. I presented my exit strategy pre-meeting, notifying him that the drink would have to be quick because I had to go walk my creatures. I spotted him seated at […]
Online Dating Clichés
Why not to write in your online dating bio: Here are the most cliché things I’ve observed on Bumble, a dating app similar to Tinder except that it requires women to initiate contact and has an expiration time on matches. Looking for a “down to earth” girl. – Really? Do these men frequently encounter women […]
Shout out to Traitor Jo’s Friends…
Stuck in my business like in a dope fiend’s arm, a needle Thought by now you’d have overdosed, too much MoMo’s lethal You’re toxic and shitty, matter of a fact, you’re not friends, you’re fecal Bet you’ve been refreshing my site, searching for some more, a saucy sequel You can’t get enough of this rhyming […]
Traitor Jo Rap
Honesty is the best policy, but your pathology had you chronically lying to me, now you come with an apology for the distorted and twisted chronology, but it’s not genuine, much like reverse psychology, time to clean up that shit, call it a cleansing colonoscopy No hard feelings or bad blood, bet you can relate […]
Online Dating Greetings: Don’t Cockblock Yourself
“Hi.” “How are you?” “How’s your Tuesday?” “How was your breakfast?” “How are your holidays?” “You’re pretty. I’d like to get to know you.” “We have a lot in common. Let’s chat.” Garbage. Landfill quality, non-recyclable garbage worthy of no response other than, if at all, “thanks for the trash.” Think about it. If […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: Picasso
Picasso2015 11/26/2016 8:32:32 AM Report this message for inappropriate content It’s too early for this shit, but im a real MC too legit , Sucker for a challenge, I guess that’s my talent, middle eastern roots, so you know I got game, I’m on one like Khalid but I ain’t on snapchat for the fame, […]
Mr. Traveler Part III
Click here for Part I Click here for Part II Day 3 The following morning, I left before he did. Neither of us knew what the other was up to that evening, which was fine because, after all, we were merely host and traveler, right? He wasn’t home when I arrived from work. Shortly thereafter, […]
Mr. Traveler Part II
Click here for Part I DAY 2 I hate mosquitoes, but my woes with mosquitoes had not yet begun at this point. So, we’ll save that passionate tirade for another time. On Day 2, I woke up and prepared myself to go out into the world to be adult as fuck. (MoMo to English translation: […]
Mr. Traveler
Mr. Traveler A good friend of mine (we’ll call her Ms. Host) had some overflow in her AirBnB reservations and so she asked me if I was interested in hosting one of her travelers. Thus, I decided to join the hospitality industry, which as it turns out, is arguably more entertaining than dating and the […]
Mr. Swiper – A Tinder Tale
Mr. Swiper, a suitor from Tinder, had just moved to New York from Boston over 4th of July weekend. He’s originally from Minnesota. I don’t know what our Tinder exchange consisted of and I cannot check it because he’s unmatched me. But, we pretty quickly moved from Tinder to text. He then also pretty […]
Mr. Redcoat: The Reunion – Part II
Related Posts: Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas The Easter Bunny Guest Submission: Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Annotated with Princess MoMo’s Comments Mr. Redcoat: The Reunion – Part I I was apprehensive. Though being in his arms felt good, I knew I was dealing with a shapeshifter. What was a MoMo to […]
Mr. Redcoat: The Reunion – Part I
Related Posts: Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas The Easter Bunny Guest Submission: Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Annotated with Princess MoMo’s Comments I recently went on a specimen spree – so I have a lot to get through and I’m going to try to make this one quick so that we can […]
Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition Annotated with Princess MoMo’s Comments
Lest we forget, at the end of the day, this is my blog. While I permit other’s perspectives, I would be remiss not to directly comment on the rendition. So, because this is princessmomo.com and not mrredcoat.com, I’m going to go Kanye West on his post. I’ma let you finish, but…my comments on his content […]
Guest Submission: Mr. Redcoat’s Rendition
I’ve written two posts about Mr. Redcoat: Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas The Easter Bunny In response to the second post, Mr. Redcoat decided he wanted to issue a rebuttal. Here’s his piece: Mr Redcoat and the Princess The ‘Princess’ has been kind enough to afford me the opportunity to post a response […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating: 90s Rap Theme
workorbeach 1/26/2016 5:11:41 PM Yo, Philosophish, let’s kick it! Hey hey baby Hey hey baby All right stop Read this email and listen Jay is here with a brand new invention The beach grabs a hold of me tightly Favorite place to spend my days both daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo, No […]