Princess MoMo

Century Link: Hello. Thanks for calling Century Link.

Me: Hello. Let me walk you through my day today.

Centuraly Link: Ok

Me: I woke up this morning and showered.  I then clothed myself in professional attire. You know why?

Century Link: Why?

Me: Because I anticipated going to work today.  But that didn’t happen.  You know why?

Century Link: Why?

Me: Because I was waiting on a Century Link guy to come fix my phone from 8-1.  But he didn’t show up during that time.  When I called around noon, I was informed that morning appointments are a “preference” not a “guarantee” and that he would show up at some point between 8 and 5. But guess what?

Century Link: He still didn’t show up?

Me: Right. He didn’t show up during that nine hour time frame.  Do you know how much I bill an hour at my place of employment? $300/hr. So I will accept two things right now: Payment of $2,700 or an explanation along the order of the technician died in transit.  If you are not authorized or able to provide with either of those two options, please put your supervisor on the line.

Century Link: I know I’m not authorized to give you $2,700 and I do apologize for this inconvenience.

Pause

Century Link: Ok, let’s verify the information on the account.

[info verification]

Century Link: They don’t need to go into your phone for this service.

Me: I specifically asked that question when I called at noon and was informed otherwise.

Century Link: Yes, it does say premise visit. Okay. Let me get on a call with that department and see what’s going on.

[bullshit hold music ensues]

Century Link: I have some good news.  The tech is en route.

Me: Ok. When will he be arriving?

Century Link: He couldn’t give us a ‘pecific, but he said he will be there today before he closes out.  From my understanding, there were trouble ticket he had to deal with and that takes priority over new installs.

Me: So basically what you’re telling me is that my time is not valuable to Century Link?

Century Link: No. Not that. We had a lot of technical things that needed to be done over there. So they’ve been running behind since March 16. But he’ll be there before 7.

Me: Can you tell me an exact time?

Century Link: No. Sorry.

Me: That’s ridiculous. If you’ve been running behind for a month, someone should have told me that when they scheduled the appointment or when I called bitching and moaning at noon today. And now you want me to sit here for two more hours waiting on this guy?

[pause]

Century Link: I do apologize.

Me: Your apology doesn’t buy my time back or accomplish any of the things I  needed to accomplish today.

[pause]

Century Link: Ok. Let me check back with my supervisor to see if we can find out an exact time.

Me: And you’ll need to compensate me for the inconvenience you’ve caused me.

Century Link: I will do that.

[bullshit hold music ensues]

Supervisor comes on the line: I hear you’re still waiting for our technician. blah blah blah  Is it okay if I place you on hold while I reach out for the dispatcher?

Me: I’ve been placed on hold several times already and have been waiting on Century Link all day, what’s another 5 minutes?

Supervisor: I do apologize.

[bullshit hold music ensues]

Supervisor: The technician is working on other orders at this time. But the area plan supervisor will be in touch with you.

Me: You can’t guarantee that someone will show up from 8 – 5? So, you tell customers to sit home and wait and we can’t even guarantee that your tech will show up?

Supervisor: I do apologize. I do know the service hasn’t been charged as of yet.

Me: Are you kidding me? The service isn’t working as of yet.  As I explained to your underling, I bill at a rate of $300/hr. I sat here for nine hours today waiting on your guy. You do the math. That’s $2,700 lost because of Century Link didn’t show up.  How are you going to compensate me for that?

Supervisor:  Well, we’re not charging you for the install.

Me: I don’t give a damn about the install fee.

Me: No.  Transfer me to another supervisor, a higher up one.

Supervisor: Alright. I’ll see what I can do.

Me: And in the meanwhile, let’s make sure this individual is one his way.

Supervisor: Like I said, the area plan supervisor was going to contact you.

Me: I don’t want to be contacted. I want this individual to come to my house, do the service he’s supposed to do, leave, and I never want to talk to you again.  You have my address, you know the service I need, so why the hell do I need to talk to an area plan supervisor?

[roughly 10 minutes of her apologizing while waiting to get a next level supervisor on the line]

[bullshit hold music ensues]

Supervisor2: I understand the technician didn’t show up for the scheduled appointment.

Me: Ok. First let’s discuss this “scheduled” appointment.

Supervisor 2: Ma’am it’s an approximation.

Me: Fine. Approximation.  You had a NINE hour window for this guy to show up.  So if he’s a little backed-up, I get it. Maybe he doesn’t show up at 8. Or at 9. Or at 10. Or at 11. Or at 12.  Maybe he even shows up at 4:30.  But it’s 5:30 and he’s still not here. And I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour.

Supervisor2: I do apologize. The best we can do is offer one month of free service.  This is outside of the realm of what we offer for new installs.

Me: Fine. I’m so aggrevated right now, I can’t even continue to speak to you. Put the credit through and then give me your name and your employee number, as well as that of the person I spoke to directly before you and the contact information, address and phone number for the corporate office.

Supervisor2: 55066 Stacey.  Heather 57530.

100 Century Link Drive

Monroe, LA 71201

(318) 388 9000