Online Dating Fails: The Way You Make Me Feel

Posted by Princess MoMo on Sep 3 in Epic fails, Men, Online dating

Specimen: If I had to sum you up in one song when I saw you, it would be Michael Jackson’s – “The Way You Make Me Feel”

Princess MoMo: How’s the line worked on other women so far?

Specimen: idk, I only sent that message too you!

Princess MoMo: Ok. Elaborate as to why I remind you of that song.

Specimen: Have you ever seen the video!? I can picture u being the girl and me following you singing that song too you/

Princess MoMo: I just went and watched it. She’s hot, so I’ll take your commentary related to the video as a compliment. I have a proposition: Let’s reenact the video and put it on youtube.  You get to be MJ and I get to be random girl trying to avoid annoyances known as men while navigating innocently through the street. Of course, you should probably recruit some of your friends as extras because there are quite a few stray men in that video. Let me know what you think.

Specimen: After that can we make out way to my bedroom baby girl!? ;)

Princess MoMo: You’re quite the subtle one, aren’t you?

Specimen: what would be soo wrong with that?

Princess MoMo: It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about bilateral desirability or lack thereof.

Specimencan’t have alittle fun with me? :(

Princess MoMo: Again, I would frame it differently. It’s not about can/can’t. It’s more of want to/don’t want to, hence will/won’t. Frankly, I’m on the don’t want to/won’t side of the fence.

SpecimenCan’t you just talk to me like a normal person lol!? Why are you on the “don’t want/won’t side of the fence”?

Princess MoMo: Because your game is weak.

Specimen: thanks, your too kind.

Princess MoMo: I’m not sure what alternate dating universe you’re operating in, but I doubt many females would dig your “fun in the bedroom” rhetoric so early on in an exchange. But hey, if it works for you, keep on keeping on and more power to you my strong white brother.

Specimen: It was just a joke. I didn’t think you were gonna take it so serious. You need to loosen up alittle bit. Don’t you think your being alittle too hard on me right now!?

Princess MoMo: Actually, I’m being uncharacteristicly lax insofar as I haven’t highlighted numerous glaring grammatical errors in your messages. I tried joking around with the YouTube video proposition, but your response was not intriguing.

Specimen: That’s alittle harsh to say my response was not “intriguing” :( I’m sorry I joked, but you don’t have to be like that.

Princess MoMo: Hmmz…If you think that was harsh, this certainly isn’t going to work out. That’s about as nicely as I could have phrased it without lying.

Specimenwhat’s goin on right now lol? how did we get to this place!?

Princess MoMo: On the journey of life, it appears as though we took a wrong turn and inadvertently crossed cyber paths.

Specimenyou have an interesting way of talking lol.

Princess MoMo: Thanks.

Specimen: so what kind of guy are you looking for?

Princess MoMo: I’m pretty sure I detailed the requisite criteria in my profile.

SpecimenI know, but any guy can read that. That doesn’t feel like I’m personally gettin to know you.

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