Princess MoMo

Editor’s Note: I went out on a first and last date with this guy.  The write-up of that date is coming soon to a blog near you…

Specimen’s opening message: I find it ironic that you refer to your potential suitors as “buyers” then warn others against messaging you if they have “engaged the services of a street-walker“. Seems a bit oxymoronic. Yes I just made that word up.

On to the quiz: 1. You’re 2. there’s 3. than 4. here … next time challenge me!

I too am the CEO of an actual company, but Me Inc. sounds WAY more interesting. Do you have a business plan I could peruse? Have you itemized your expenditures and secured funding for your venture? I see you are accepting applications for a business partner, what type of terms are you offering?

Anyway, you can check my profile for a copy of my cover letter. Resume and references provided upon request. Thank you for your consideration, let me know if you have any interest in scheduling an interview :)

MoMo: I’ll address your message paragraph by paragraph.

I find it ironic that you refer to your potential suitors as “buyers” then warn others against messaging you if they have “engaged the services of a street-walker”. Seems a bit oxymoronic. Yes I just made that word up.

Response: I don’t see the irony. A buyer does not necessarily have to be of the street walker purchasing variety.

On to the quiz: 1. You’re 2. there’s 3. than 4. here … next time challenge me!

Response: You’d be surprised at the failure rate on this quiz.

I too am the CEO of an actual company, but Me Inc. sounds WAY more interesting. Do you have a business plan I could peruse? Have you itemized your expenditures and secured funding for your venture? I see you are accepting applications for a business partner, what type of terms are you offering?

Response: What kind of company? I gather it’s tech. based? As for Me, Inc., there’s no formal business plan and it’s a dynamic entity that adapts to the current climate. I have not itemized the expenditures, but be assured that assets exceed liabilities. It is a mostly self-sustaining entity. Terms of a business partner are somewhat negotiable.

Anyway, you can check my profile for a copy of my cover letter. Resume and references provided upon request. Thank you for your consideration, let me know if you have any interest in scheduling an interview :)

Response: I checked out your profile. It appears that you’re not the typical douche that frequents this website. But, I’ve been wrong before (though, not often). If you’d like to proceed to the next phase in this process, I’m game.

Specimen: I’m going to break down your response syllable-by-syllable, spelling each one out phonetically…

I: Pronounced E-Y-E, typically referring to oneself.

DON’T: Pronounced DOH-NT, a contraction of DO NOT, as in, the opposite of DO.

… OMG my brain just half-exploded. Enough of that. So, are we planning to keep up the formalities or can we proceed to a more casual tone?

You could call it a tech company but that’s dumbing it down a bit. I prefer to call it a transformational solutions development company (investors like that kinda stuff).

I don’t get the impression you’re wrong very often, it must take a lot for you to admit that. Sounds like you have some hilarious stories, like the kind that could be told over a moonlit dinner with some wine and light jazz music. Am I right?

MoMo: You will likely be surprised at how colloquially I speak; important writing, though, unless it is gchat, the formalities shall continue. If you’d like to communicate in more human-like terms, you are welcome to call me: 908REDACTEd. -MoMo

MoMo: Correction: “important” in the previous message was intended to be “in.” Damn autocorrect.

Specimen: That’s a very presumptuous autocorrect you got there. If you started typing AN- would it automatically think you were trying to type Antidisestablishmentarianism? Thank you, autocorrect, you know me so well. (P.S. http://damnyouautocorrect.com/)

Thanks for the number, MoMo. Mine’s 516REDACTED (I’m originally from LI, don’t hold it against me).

Fair warning, if I say something stupid on the phone, it’s probably just my vocal autocorrect.

MoMo: I look forward to speaking to you and your vocal autocorrect.