Princess MoMo

A few weeks after the initial exchange, this guy wrote to me again.

Guy: Still as elegant as ever. Nice to gaze upon you again :)

Princess: Believe it or not, I was thinking about you this weekend. On Sunday, I was tasked with the laborious errand of modern day hunting and gathering, otherwise known as grocery shopping. As I glanced at my list and conducted the scavenger hunt ritual down the aisles, I became more and more irritated. Then, there was an incoming call on my device. I answered. But you know what? It was difficult for me to manage holding my device to my ear while pushing the shopping cart like a peasant. I grew more annoyed at having to navigate this food-containing wagon through this commoner-filled food warehouse. I thought to myself, “Why is this happening to me? And how can I make this come to an end?” That’s when you came to mind! I realized the error in my ways of writing off your offer to be my servant. Does this role you seek entail food gathering duties? Or at a minimum, will you push the cart for me? If so, sign yourself up.

Guy: Is that an elaborate example of sarcasm lol?

Princess: No, I’m really in dire need of a servant. I didn’t realize how strong my need was until my food gathering experience this weekend.

Guy: lol, your probably a guy interested in murdering me. Well, if I’m your servant would also allow my face to be your seat while you work, relax etc…?

Princess: Let’s take this one step at a time. You’re moving too fast for me. Also, you used the wrong word at the start of your message.  It should read, “you’re probably a guy…” Let me assure you, I am not a guy. If I were a big strong man, I would have no issues with pushing the shopping cart on my own with one hand.  Instead, I am but a frail woman who needs your assistance. It looks like you’re reneging on your offer of servitude. What a disappointment.

Guy: Ok I’m in. I do have a job though. Must I quit?

Princess: Describe this job to me.

Guy: Education sub teacher

Princess: That shouldn’t cut into you catering to my needs. Keep the job.

Guy: Fantastic. When shall we meet?

Guy: BTW off the whole week since school is closed. Obviously it would be at your leisure.

Guy: No go Goddess?

Guy: Goddess, I’m sorry to pester you like this, would just like to be able to mentally prepare for this vow of servitude. So, if you will still be needing me simply let me know, if not, please inform me likewise. Thank you Goddess :)

Princess: Are you serious with this?

Guy: Only if you are. I realize the taboo nature of the request makes you cautious. I am equally being cautious with the rare acceptance of my offer. See what I’m saying?

Princess: No, please elaborate.

Guy: Ok, would you be willing to have coffee in a very public place to discuss my use to you?

Guy: This way you can be assured I am who I say I am and vice versa.

Princess: The fact of the matter is that I really do need a personal life
assistant. As such, I’m willing to conduct this interview.

Guy: Would you like to call me?

Princess: Not right now. I’m tapping into my creative genius and cannot be interrupted with phone calls. If you provide me with your number, I will contact you at a later time.

Guy: [provides number]