Translation: I was flat ironing my dry, coarse, long, curly hair with one of the most amazing flat irons I’ve ever used. I had only done two small pieces when I smelled something burning. I immediately removed the flat iron from my hair to avoid any damage to my keratin kingdom. I checked my hair and was pleased that it was still intact. I looked over at the flat iron to see that it was not intact. The plates had literally melted off of the frame. It was very strange. I was thankful that it had not injured me or my hair because it was running at 420 degrees.
It was still under the one year warranty. I spoke to the manufacturer’s representative who was very nice and apologetic. I told her that I had two concerns: 1. I need a new flat iron and I loved this one so much that I’d like a replacement despite the incident and 2. that I would like to send the defective one to the company’s product safety department for inspection. She gave me the address to send the defective one and asked for my address so that she could send a replacement. The only downside is that the new one won’t be pink because the newer model (which is what she’s sending me) only comes in bronze.
Now this is the story all about how
My flat iron plates flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I got a new one for my pretty long hair
With nappy-ass curls I born and raised
In front of the mirror is where I spent most of my days
Blowing out, ironing, relaxing all smooth
And all brushing out hairballs with a hot tool
When a couple of plates, they were up to no good
Started melting off my flat iron where I stood
I smelled something burning and my mind got scared
And thought “You need to put the ish down before it burns your hair”
I called the manufacturer and let them hear
The flat iron plates were defective and had an malfunction before the mirror
If anything I could say that this defect was rare
But I thought nah, forget it, yo I need straightness to my hair!
I requested a new flat iron and don’t make me wait
And I yelled to the old iron “Yo, burns smell you later!”
Looked at my keratin kingdom I was once again there
To break the disulfide bonds of my princess hair