Princess MoMo

Background:
In March of 2010, there was an uprising in my mouth. The culprit: A rebellious wisdom tooth. The solution: The uprising was quelled through the removal of wisdom in tooth form. After that visit to the dentist, I friended said dentist on facebook (because at the time, I thought I was attracted to him and needed to do some investigation/fact-gathering). He facebook messaged me the following morning and there was a brief exchange. Subsequent to the wisdom tooth extraction, I was scheduled for two more appointments: 1. to remove the useless suture from my mouth; and 2. for a regular cleaning. I did a self-removal of the suture two days after it was needlessly sown into my oral kingdom and on April 20,  2010, I went in for the cleaning.

The Cleaning:
So, my cleaning appointment was bright and early at 7:30 am. In my infinite wisdom, which as you read above had decreased not too long ago, I decided to floss before my appointment. While I am an excellent and very frequent brusher of my teeth, I do not floss as much. Therefore, the flossing aggravated my gums.

When I arrived at the dentist’s office, a new young dental hygienist greeted me and proceeded to probe my teeth for measurements of some sort. She said that the scale for these measurements was 1-9, 9 being the worst. There were a few 4s and 5s in my measurements causing some alarm to her and me, but I explained the flossing aggravation. She didn’t seem to buy my story and started with all of this nonsense talk about having to go on antibiotics and get a deep cleaning and blah blah blah. I told her I wasn’t interested in what she was offering, but because I’m reasonable, I agreed to do the antibiotics since they are such a low dosage. Then the dentist comes in and starts adding to the nonsense by telling me I need the remaining wisdom extracted from my mouth. They insisted that I schedule an appointment in 3 weeks so that they could do the measurements again. I told them, “I’ll see you in 6 months for my cleaning. Thanks. Bye.”

Just when I thought I had escaped the attempts to lure me back in for more tampering with my mouth, I received a message from Mr. Dentist.

Below is the exchange:

Dentist: So…dont u want to get healthy?????

Princess: Indulge me in the following analogy: In my oral kingdom, I am the supreme leader over the peasants therein (i.e. my teeth). When it comes to population control (i.e. “crowding” due to wisdom teeth) or the conditions of the peasants’ homes (i.e. my gums), the dentist (i.e. you) is my advisor, but I am the ultimate decision-maker. At this time, I do not deem it necessary to inflict further pain and suffering on the oral kingdom. I agreed to have one of the peasants removed last time because it rebelled against me, but as of now, the rest of the peasants are on good behavior.