Princess MoMo

I recently found a diary that I maintained for about six months during the ages of 11 and 12.  Below is one of the entries followed by my analysis.

Dec. 6, 1996

J= Jovan
SSP = Sedric
CB= Carry (Bitch)

Yesterday I started going out with a boy named Sedric (Pint).  I don’t know if it was a joke or for real.  I hope it’s for real, even though he’s a tard.  He lives in Bridgewater. Phone # is [REDACTED].  I met him at the stupid-ass Commons mall.   Here’s what happened:

It was Friday night me + Stephanie H. were at the mall, as usual.  We were supposed to be leavin’ at 9 PM.  When were in in the eating section, a black boy (Jovan) who was with 2 other boys (don’t know ’em) said Wow.  It turned out he liked Stephanie or at least the way she looked.  Me + Steph both looked BUTT that day, at least I did to the fullest.  Were going down the stairs by the WB store + we saw him (J) with a different group which included SSP + CB.  They were staring at us.  We went down + I told Steph let’s sit at the bench.  We did.  SSP came up to us + said J wants to meet Steph in the WB store.  It was freakin’ 8:59 PM.  The stupid dorks had to wait until the last minute (literally).  I got their #s.  The next day we called Pint.  J wasn’t home.  We talked to Pint.  The next day we called SSP again.  He couldn’t talk.  We didn’t call him after that which was like back in Sept. or Oct. (don’t remember).  The next Fri. me + Steph went to the mall again.  We saw the BITCH Carry (as if).  She said to me (and I don’t remember her exact words), “Weren’t you the 1 who got Sedric’s #?”  I said yeah.  She said, “Did you call him?”  I said, “Yeah, twice.”  Boy act like I’m sweatin’ him.  She said, “He don’t want you callin’ him no more.”  I said, “Fine.”  I got pissed like a dork.  I punched her.  Not! But I did get pissed because she dissed on me since then I hadn’t called him.  Yesterday, Steph + Jessica were over.  I decided to call Jovan.  We were talkin’.  I told him D story about the Bitch.  He said Sedric never said anything about us.   He said Bitch probably said that because she used to like him.  I asked him if he ever killed anyone.  He said no.  It was funny.  We hung up on him and called Pint.

I just remembered the 1st time we called Pint.  He told me his real name.  I told him I was 13 and asked him how he got his nickname.  He said cause he was small for his age.  I said small as in height or as in dick.  He said wouldn’t you like to find out.

Anyway when we called him yesterday we told him about Bitch.  He said he thought I was mad at him.  He’ll be 14 in Dec.  I told him my real age.  He’s in 8th grade.  We talked on the phone.  It was me Jess C., Steph H. and Jess T. was at my house.  Me + Pint started goin’ out.  We gave Jovan + Pint Jess T.’s address so they could send us pictures.  [Editor’s Note: Pint did in fact send his picture. I still have it.] They probably won’t.  While us + Pint were on the phone, I said Pint.  He asked who just said that.  I said me.  He said me who.  I said MoMo.  I said Pint again that way.  He said don’t say that no more you’ll make it go boung (boner).

Later on the phone Jess C. played “Tell Me” by Dru Hill.  There’s a part that goes, “Tell me anytime you need it” or something.  Pint goes did ya hear that MoMo?  I said what? And he said tell me anytime you want it.  I didn’t know what to say.  Between Sedric and Jovan we were on the phone for about 2.5 hours total.

Today we called Pint.  He couldn’t talk.  He told us to call him back but I don’t feel like it now.  Then we called Jovan.  No one picked up.  He was on the phone when he finished, he pressed star 69 + got Jess C.  She told him she couldn’t give him my #, which was a good move because if my parents pick up, there goes my neck!

We called him + talked to him for a while.  Then my mom came in my room + askedwho I was talking to.   I said Jess C.  She made me hang up.  I got Chinese food.  Steph got a sub + now I’m done writing.  I forgot to say that I want to play Pint with Adom, my man (soon I hope).

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Analysis (15 years later):  Well, obviously I was a player since my youth.  Go me.  My “relationship” with Sedric was Pint-sized.  We started “going out” Friday, Dec. 6, 1996.  That weekend, my parents grounded me from using the phone, who knows for what.  On Monday, Dec. 9, when I arrived at middle school, I found out that during the weekend Jess C. had three-way called Pint with another girl from school.  Apparently, he took a liking to this other girl and was now “going out” with her.  I was far from thrilled.  I think I saw him once or twice more at random during my teenage years.  I did not speak to him because I was livid.  I was pretty hurt by his actions because I was very excited that we were “going out” and he betrayed my trust for some girl he had never even met in person.

Eleven years later (Dec. 2008), when I was 23, I was home (NJ) from school (DC) for Christmas break.  I went to Target with my mother.  Some dudes were trying to holler.  I wasn’t having any of it.  Then, one of the guys said my name.  I thought, “What the fuck.  I hate when they know my name and I’m forced to acknowledge their existence.”  I turned around.  I immediately recognized Pint.  He said, “You don’t even know who I am do you?”  I replied, “Yes, I do. Pint.”  He told me I looked good, etc.  and suggested that we should go out to dinner.  I said, “No. You played me.”  He said, “MoMo, that was 10 years ago.”  I told him I was still pissed.  Nevertheless, I gave him my number.  Somehow, I still remembered his landline number from back in the day.  He was astonished.  He called me later that night and continued trying to convince me to go on a date with him.  I told him I still harbored resentment toward him for his bullshit in middle school.  He rationalized by saying he was a boy then and now he was a man.  I wasn’t buying it.

Almost a year later (9/22/09),  some girl messaged me on YouTube.  The message read, “Hey! Im hoping this is MoMo
This isnt pint this is his girlfriend meghan but he is asking me to try and get in contact with u. He said something about u being a attorney, he is in a situation n i would like to talk to u further so could u plz send me a msg back”

Being the considerate human being that I am, I responded, “Hi Meghan. I’m not yet licensed because the results from the summer bar exam are still pending. So I’m not sure how much help I can be. But if you just need to talk, let me know.”

She replied, “Ohhh ok…thank u!Hope everything goes ok wit ur exam…sheesh it must take a long time. pint was arrested on the 1st of sept n it was put in the paper n hes kinda worried bout everything. he feels he has a case to sue for slandering his name n emotional distress for both him n i especially me since im 6 months pregnant but he wanted me to see if u could help him out wit this. idk if u could do anything or tell him if he does have a case n such but it might be better if u could write him or the other way around so he could better explain everything. let me know if ur willing to do so
thank u”

That was the end of Pint in connection with my life.