Click here to read the Mr. T Intro Last time we left off, Mr. T had suggested an activity involving horses (get your mind out of the gutter, you sickos). I vetoed anything horse-related. The next day, he texted me with a substitute idea. The Text Exchange Mr. T: It’s a lovely day to […]
MoMoLand Welcomes a New Character: Mr. T
Background Last weekend (10/15), I was auctioned off for a date to benefit breast cancer awareness. Mr. T bid on me, but he stopped bidding at a fairly low amount (fewer than $40). Someone else had the good fortune of winning me. After the auction, I ran into Mr. T towards the back of the […]
Turbulence: Mr. Plane the Finale
Brief overview of relations with Mr. Plane: A day after speaking to him on the phone for the first time, he led me on a surprise adventure to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend. (He owns a plane.) Later that week we went to dinner in the beautiful Garden State, New Jersey. And at the end […]
Date Dissection 10/15/11
Background To review the initial online dating website message exchange, click here. His first call to me was on a Tuesday night. We spoke for quite a while. When it was well beyond my bedtime (which is fairly early on week nights – yeah, I’m lame), I said (not verbatim), “Well, I guess we’ll talk […]
Spiders, Spiders Everywhere!!! They Must Die.
The longstanding war against Al-Spida (rhymes with Al Qaeda) continues. As you may recall, earlier this year, the leader, evil motherbugger bin spider, of this terrorist cell ambushed Princess MoMo. Unfortunately, MoMo lost that battle. For some time after the incident, MoMo was undisturbed by the eight-legged thugs. As a result, her spider alertness […]
Princess MoMo’s Manual Labor
Princess MoMo’s mama enlisted her to assist with one of the worst things imaginable: manual labor. Upon parking her MoMo-mobile, Princess MoMo witnessed her brother from the same mother conducting some terrain-oriented reconnaissance and hood MacGyver-ing the castle gate infrastructure. Using cable ties, he was attaching poultry netting to the bottom of the fence. Why? […]
Princess MoMo on the Farm (abridged version – almost 30% shorter than the original)
This post is about my recent dates with Mr. Plane (so named because he owns a plane). Last weekend’s adventure (our first date) involved him whisking me away from the treacherous lands of New Jersey to Martha’s Vineyard. After reflecting upon this experience for two days, I concluded that a more subtle approach to a first date would […]
Princess MoMo on the Farm (Dates two and three with Mr. Plane)
This post is about my recent dates with Mr. Plane (so named because he owns a plane). Last weekend’s adventure (our first date) involved him whisking me away from the treacherous lands of New Jersey to Martha’s Vineyard. Epic. First. Date. After reflecting upon this experience for two days, I concluded that a more subtle approach […]
A Piece of MoMo’s Mind: Why First Dates Involving Planes And Weekend Getaways Are Not A Good Idea. (Camping isn’t a good idea either.)
I recently went on the most outlandish of first dates in the extensive history of MoMo dating. Dude showed up in a single engine aircraft and swooped me up to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend. Fun times? Yes. Relaxing? Yes. Blog worthy? Abso-fucking-lutely. Copacetic? No. “Why not,” you may ask. Or you may […]
Gettin’ High to and from a Three Day First Date
Phase I (Cyberspace Introduction): Tuesday, Sep 7, 2011 – 10:32pm Guy: Wow – I meet the prerequisites a through i !! You look stunning in your pics, and seem confident and focused. I would like the opportunity to meet and learn more – perhaps a dining adventure. You won’t be disappointed!! 215 REDACTED Wednesday, Sep […]
Date Dissection 8/20/11
In April of this year, this particular specimen messaged me on a dating website. Shortly thereafter, we spoke on the phone. We made plans two weeks in advance to meet for dinner on April 29. Communication was extremely light during those two weeks. Frankly, I just wasn’t into this guy because of the […]
Shoprite Rant
Seriously, I might start packin’ heat when I go to Shoprite. First, that place is ALWAYS overcrowded regardless of the time of day. Second, somehow I always end up behind the jerkoff who needs a price check which takes 2340534 minutes, but I can’t easily go to another line because I’ve already placed my items […]
Factory Inspection
Once a year, Princess MoMo has her factory inspected. MoMo looks forward to this appointment even less than her semi-annual oral kingdom cleaning visits. This year, MoMo switched factory inspectors because her former one is located too far from her residence and place of employment. Like most other inspections, factory checks are stressful. In anticipation of having the […]
Fiesta at Shoprite
For some reason, it seems like we’re always in need of milk at the house. So, I stopped by Shoprite to pick up some. To my surprise, the parking lot was packed. I thought to myself, “WTF is this bullshit? It’s Thursday night in Bumblefuck, NJ…why is everyone at Shoprite?” Then I remembered that there’s […]