For the past few months, I made a conscious effort to peacefully coexist with the insects and arachnids. I even allowed a small spider to cohabitate with me in my bedroom. (By “allowed,” I mean it moved in and I did not execute it or remove it from the corner it occupied.) Just the other […]
Outdoor Lover
For the past several months, I’ve mostly ignored the influx of messages on the dating sites. I’ve periodically checked them, but nothing really motivated me to respond. Today, Lovetofish5204 inspired me. See below. Lovetofish5204 10/24/2012 8:50:16 PM Hello let’s start out by saying I know u get like 7802 messages a day and […]
Spiders, Spiders Everywhere!!! They Must Die.
The longstanding war against Al-Spida (rhymes with Al Qaeda) continues. As you may recall, earlier this year, the leader, evil motherbugger bin spider, of this terrorist cell ambushed Princess MoMo. Unfortunately, MoMo lost that battle. For some time after the incident, MoMo was undisturbed by the eight-legged thugs. As a result, her spider alertness […]
Princess MoMo on the Farm (Dates two and three with Mr. Plane)
This post is about my recent dates with Mr. Plane (so named because he owns a plane). Last weekend’s adventure (our first date) involved him whisking me away from the treacherous lands of New Jersey to Martha’s Vineyard. Epic. First. Date. After reflecting upon this experience for two days, I concluded that a more subtle approach […]
MoMo the MiscreANT
Last time there was an ant roaming around on MoMo's office desk, her conscience stopped her from killing it. But that little fucker (the ant, not her conscience), decided to reappear today. This time, MoMo overcame any internal moral opposition to ant assassination. Because these desk ants move at a very high rate of speed, […]