Princess MoMo

So, I’m sure you’ve all been suffering from withdrawal due to my extremely infrequent blogging.  Luckily, I’m back, bitches.

Let’s start with Mr. DickPic.  You know how certain bars are full of “regulars”?  Well, that’s how the warped world of online dating is.  It is not uncommon to run into familiar cyber faces on dating websites even years later.  This was precisely the case with Mr. DickPic.  We had exchanged messages on PlentyOfShit on several different occasions.  We never met or spoke, though.  He recently messaged me again and I made a point of calling him a penpal, which I am not particularly interested in.  If I want someone to write to, I have all of you guys!  We exchanged numbers and started the endless text nonsense.  So, basically, all that happened is that the penpal medium changed.  Finally, I called him.  I like to gauge people’s conversational skills before continuing in ongoing written correspondence.  He seemed ok.  The endless texts persisted.  We spoke again on the phone.  Then, I went to bed. I woke up in the morning to find a picture text from him.  You may ask, “What of?”  Well, of course, of a dick pic.  Now, in his defense and to my benefit, it was not a nude dick pic.  It was a picture of him grasping his male anatomy which was covered by a sheet or blanket (pasted below for your viewing displeasure).  But, seriously, what the fuck?   There is only one time when it is appropriate to send a dick pic.  That time is NEVER!!!!  Have we learned nothing from Anthony Weiner about appropriate wiener etiquette?  Oh, and let me add that Mr. DickPic is 38.  But that doesn’t matter because the adage that with age comes wisdom does not seem to apply to most people.   What was my response to this stupid picture?  “It doesn’t look tall.”  I figured, if this guy is going to offend my sense of sight with a dick pic, I’m going to offend his manhood.  He responded with, “I wasn’t holding it all the way down. It’s attitude like that, that has me not wanting to meet up with u”  Great.  That makes two of us, buddy.  It takes two not to tango.  The End of Mr. DickPic (though he texted subsequent to this, he’s been added to the “do not answer” list).