Princess MoMo

Click here for Mr. Giggle Part 1.

Brief synopsis:  

After more than two specimen-less months, I decided to get off of the bench and back into the game.   But was my date on the wrong team?  That is what I was left believing after observing, among other things, his mannerisms, his giggling, and his too-fabulous-to-be-straight button down shirt.  Nevertheless, I agreed to a second date the following day.  The plan (as amended from originally involving drinks in New Hope <– gay central) was to watch movies at his place.

Part 2:

He warned me before I departed that he lived in a secluded setting.  Alright, so, I figured there were some trees and a lot of distance between his house and those of his neighbors.  As I approached his “street” there was no longer pavement on the “road.”  Instead, I was driving on rocks.  I wasn’t sure if this was a one way or a two way situation.   I continued on the “road” to the unknown.  Luckily, I still had cell phone reception.

Mr. Giggles verbally guided me up his driveway.  I have never driven up a driveway like this.  It was composed of stones/rocks and was entirely surrounded by trees.  There was nothing in sight other than woods.  It was as though I was navigating through a disenchanted forest.   In the light of day, it wasn’t so bad, though.  Mr. Giggles’s play-by-play navigation as I made my way up to his abode helped matters.

He was awaiting me outside.  This time, his style of dress was more toned down.  He was warm and welcoming, offering me a glass of wine immediately upon entering his house.  But, where were his friends?

We chatted for a bit.  I showed him a video that one of my top commenters (shout out to Flip King) had shared with me in connection with a status I posted about Mr. Giggles.  The video is about a boy wishing for a planet full of unicorns.  (That is what inspired the image accompanying this post.)  I’m not sure if he was as amused by the video as I was.

Eventually, I walked over to his movie collection.  My selection: Despicable Me.  I had never watched it before, but had heard so much about the minions.  There were still no friends in sight.  We started the movie.

He sat very close to me on the couch.  Surprisingly, I was accepting of the closeness.  He is very gregarious and easy to be around.  During the movie he mentioned that his friends were likely not going to make it.  And they didn’t.

It was past my bedtime when the movie ended.  Mr. Giggles walked me out and informed me that the there would be no cell phone reception on the way down the epic driveway.  I expressed my doubt, explaining that if I had reception coming up the driveway (which I did) the direction of travel shouldn’t impact it on the way down.  Sounds logical, right?

Farewell hugging happened again.  As I fastened my seatbelt, I picked up my device so that I could call Mr. Giggles for instructions on how to exit his forest.  But, to my shock and dismay, not only did I have no reception, but my device said something about not being able to read the SIM card.  I had never seen this error message before.  This was bad.  I powered off my phone in hopes that upon restarting, it would provide me with signal. I wasn’t even left to my own devices!  I had to rely solely on my sense of direction in this pitch black woodland.

I turned on my high beams and began my quest to escape.  After a minute or two, I reached a split in the driveway.  My gut instinct was to go left.  So, I went right.  About 30 seconds after executing this counter-instinctive decision, I realized I had made a big mistake.  Before me was a gated off house equally as secluded as Mr. Giggles’s home.  There were several vehicles parked behind the gate, one of which was (or at least I imagined it to be) a pick up truck.  I panicked.  I hit the lock button and I thought to myself, “No car off of the street would make a wrong turn into these people’s driveway; they probably shoot on sight.  I better turn this little MoMo-mobile right around as quickly as I possibly can before bullets come flying at me.”  I’ve never been shot at, but my guess is that it is not an experience I would enjoy.  I couldn’t maneuver very quickly though because I was on rocks amidst trees.   When I finally turned the car around, I heard a very discomforting sound that caused me to jump in my seat: screeching against my passenger side window.  Once I regained my senses, I realized it was just a tree branch scraping against the glass.  Worst. Sound. Ever.  (It really is a horrid sound.  There was a tree that for months scraped against my office window.  It caused me much irritation until a maintenance guy finally chain sawed that bitch (see picture of said man below.))

Recollecting the man who handled the tree outside of my office, I prayed that no chainsaw-laden beings would emerge from the depths of this forest.   Finally, I decided to do what any rational actor would do when fearing for her life: video tape what could have been my last moments.  (Click here for the video footage.)  During my recording, I remembered that Mr. Giggles had mentioned there was a cliff somewhere near his driveway.  Darkness + woods + rocks + cliffs + chainsaw people = scary.  Anyway, in case you were wondering, I made it to the end of his driveway alive because forests, stones, imaginary chainsaw people, and cliffs are no match for me, the MoMo-mobile, and Pink Magic.

THE END.