Princess MoMo

Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2

Mr. Riddles:

Emily Blunt,

Let’s get something straight: I said from the beginning that I only messaged you to prove that all guys aren’t idiots. Also, my claims are not unsubstantiated because I failed to answer your futile attempt at weeding out all of the glorious messages you receive on this awesome website. (If I had invented ‘sarcasm’ font yet this last bit would have been written using it). You really think that a few grammAR questions can weed out the cornucopia of idiots with profiles on this website. Besides, what kind of basis does being good at grammar create? Congratulations for successfully weeding out everybody that passed tenth grade English.

My claims are substantiated because I know what I am good at (is this ending a sentence with a preposition?… or am I allowed to do that since you that was not mentioned in your prerequisites?). Furthermore, I am not gloating, I am confident: I once had to prove that the infinity of natural numbers is less than that of the infinity of the real numbers. I am good with numbers. Again, not gloating (nor proud of that), just stating fact that exemplifies my point; I am good with numbers. The riddle is only nonsensical to the feeble of minds.

Lastly, I would never expect you to try and impress me. Why would any female want to impress a male? That would mean going beyond conformity. Besides, I am just a random guy; there is no need to impress me, but I will most certainly not back down from your sophisticated style of witty banter and intellectual cracks. Nor will I stand for your false accusations or let you pretend for a second you know what my ‘view’ may be.

Here’s a poem for you:

Why would I want to date her?
That pretentious hater.
Does she have a sense of humor?
Just a speculation and rumor.
What made her this way?
Maybe her ex turned gay.
Is she always so blunt and true?
Hope she isn’t equally morose and blue.
Why the condescending tone?
No one likes to be alone.
Does she think I will back down?
I would rather drown.

Princess MoMo:

This would probably be an appropriate time for me to send you some sort of floatation apparatus. Lest you drown yourself, I will guess your address and hope (written in the sarcastic font you did not create) that it arrives before it is too late.

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Your “likes” and comments are encouraged and appreciated.  Thanks.

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