Princess MoMo

On February 11, 2011, Princess MoMo marched into a T-Mobile store located in North Jersey in an effort to obtain a functional new device.  Prior to this trip to the physical device store, she had ordered one from T-Mobile’s telephonic customer service people.  The device she received from them was flawed.  She shipped back the defective device and inevitably, there was an issue with temporarily reinstating her blackberry service.  Sadly, she was without cellular service for 24 hours.  One might think, “Hey that’s not a big deal.”  That thought is wrong.  In the 24 hours without her handy-dandy device, the wonderful county of Somerset decided not to fully plow its roads, therefore leaving a lovely pile of sludge for the Princess’s motor vehicle (actually it wasn’t her car – see note at the end of this post) to conveniently slide upon, causing the piece of metal she was operating to crash into a snow bank (after almost hitting a tree bank, a telephone pole and almost flipping – yeah, fun times).  She wanted to call AAA or the police, but she couldn’t.  You know why? Because she didn’t have cell phone service!!! (A good Samaritan did stop and allow the Princess to use her device.  Thank you Ms. Good Samaritan.)

Anyway, the point of the back story is to explain why Princess MoMo was annoyed when she entered the T-Mobile store.  There are also more details, but they’ll bore you and recollecting them will aggravate Princess MoMo, neither of which is the goal here.  In the store on February 11, MoMo was greeted by a cute specimen named Justin.  She told him what she wanted and that she didn’t want any problems.  He told her that she wouldn’t have any problems (he was wrong) and that she’d be so satisfied that she would come back to the store and ask him out on a date.  She laughed at him.  She also asked him how old he was because he had a baby face.  He said 23.  That is the prime specimen age.  Specimens of this age, otherwise known as 23ers are the perfect balance of youthfulness and manliness.  But, MoMo did not let this specimen derail her from her mission.  Of course there were issues of all sorts and a manager had to get involved lest Princess MoMo throw a temper tantrum in the store.  To make a long story shorter than it otherwise could be, MoMo left the store with her new device and rebate form in hand.

When she arrived at her castle, MoMo filled out the rebate form and mailed it to the mindless humanoids at T-Mobile’s rebate processing center.  Supposedly, the rebate was to be issued within 6-8 weeks.  On April 26, 2011, when she arrived home, MoMo sensed that T-Mobile had sent something.  She asked her mother if she had seen anything in the mail from her wireless service provider.  MoMo’s mama told her that just that day a letter arrived from T-Mobile.  MoMo went to her mail heap and secured this letter.  She felt the envelop and immediately realized there was no rebate card within.  Rage.

MoMo wished she had a machete with which to open the envelop, but unfortunately, no machete was readily available and she had to use her bare hands to open it.  The letter from her friends at T-Mobile stated that T-Mobile was unable to process the rebate for some bullshit reason.  Without reading the remainder of the letter, MoMo went to her pink-carpeted room to retrieve the T-Mobile bag with the North Jersey store manager’s card in it.  Having dealt with the ineptitude of T-Mobile many-a-times, MoMo knew to keep this card immediately accessible.

She dial pad-ded the store.  The individual answering the phone introduced himself as “Justin.”  MoMo warmly greeted Justin and described their encounter to him.  She began by saying, “Hi, I was in your store around Valentine’s day and I was really pissy because I hate T-Mobile, but you assured me it would be fine and it’s not.”  He said he needed more of a reminder.  MoMo gave him more background including her profession and Justin said, “Oh, I 100% remember you!”  She read a portion of the letter from T-Mobile to him.  He said, “You actually called at the worst possible time because it’s 8 p.m. and we’re closed, but if you give me your number, I will call you by Thursday morning and have this straightened out.”  MoMo gave him her number.  At 8:03 p.m., MoMo received a text from a number she did not recognize on her device.  The message read, “Heyy sorry about that lol ill call you back Thursday morning, and we’ll go over it then ill find a way to resolve this for you, okay? :)”  MoMo responded, “Justin?”  He replied, “Yes!”  MoMo wrote, “Wow personal service…I like it!”  23er texted back, “haha of course not for every customer but I can take care of you.  Other than the rebate, loving the phone? What have you been up too [sic]?”  More messages were exchanged…nothing of particular interest and MoMo is tired of writing right now.

To Be Continued…

Note: MoMo was not driving her car because it rebelled against her and turned into a death trap on wheels.  She therefore took her vehicle to the incompetent people at Goodyear (or Shityear).  Goodyear had her car for three weeks (with a few hour break in between, at which point the car was back in her possession because they purported to have fixed it.  Needless to say it really wasn’t fixed and she had to have some words with the manager and eventually the corporate office).  That’s a story for another time though.