Princess MoMo

One Response to “Testimonials”

1. HeadoftheHarem says:

   15 August 2012 at 3:51 PM

   Love love love your blog! I don’t even read blogs (now I do!) and this is my virgin contribution. I’m not sure why I’ve never contributed before, except for the fact that dramatic ex boyfriends have been taking up way too much real estate in my brain! My last bf was a 23-year-old whom I made the colossal mistake of falling for, after he fell for me. I’m in my 30s, but apparently don’t look or act like it because this is the 3rd guy in his early 20s that I’ve been with recently. (I was bright enough not to fall for the first two. I honestly almost walked away from this specimen in the beginning like Young Jeezy’s Leave You Alone, and he knew it, which is what caught him. Funny how this war of love works.) This specimen wrote poetry, cried his heart out (because he left his ex, because he loved me so much, because he’s 23 and moody, because), made big promises, and changed his mind with the wind. We were together around the clock: we ate together, played together, partied together, slept together (ok mostly slept together with him screaming my name and keeping the neighbors awake), trained together (martial arts, that’s why I still see this guy all the time, he’s the head instructor), went to Drake concerts together… and like Drake says I “hate the fact that I bought the dream when [he] sold me one. [I] love my friends but somebody shoulda told me somethin, to save [me].”

   I hope my friends or your readers say something to save me this time! Need a new Advisory Board and What-the-Fuck-o-Meter tune up for sure. On my quest for Mr. Right, who I hope will find me (and will most likely have 10 plus years on the last one), I’ve decided to take up this art of specimen slaying and report to you (is there an appropriate spot on your blog for this?). It seems close enough to the other martial arts I practice that I could become really formidable. I’ve just started online dating about two months ago. It lends credence to Mark Twain’s quote “Tis strange but true for truth is stranger than fiction.” And with a date tonight, a date tomorrow night (both after martial arts training) and a coffee date Fri, I should have plenty of fodder. Documenting it will help me keep them apart; they’re starting to blend together! Specimen blending… if only we could blend specimens together to make the right one….

   Last night alone (after training of course), I spoke to two specimens from online dating sites and kicked out a 20 year old (youngest yet). The first specimen was promising since he is in academia like me, but he seemed about as excited to talk to me as if he were about to get a root canal. He was also located far away, and with these things not going for him, I quickly said I had another call and hung up. I don’t think it was very believable; I’m a terrible liar. I texted him politely today to say that I wasn’t calling back, he just lived too far away. The second one was witty. I think witty banter is a definite plus. But he had a high-pitched voice and didn’t commit to meeting me in person despite me suggesting it on the phone. This AM he sent me a text “It was my pleasure to talk to you. I hope to do so again. Take care.” I wrote him back “It was nice talking with you as well. Let me know if you would like to meet to see if this is worth pursuing. Enjoy your day.” And he comes back with “Great. Thanks. I will. You’re pretty amazing. I like amazing people. Have a good one.” He’s the second high-pitched voiced man I’ve had the pleasure ( ? ) of talking with in two days because the night before, I spoke with a short ER doctor who fences and whom I might meet with next week. Its promising that he has a career and seems really intelligent, but I have the feeling he will make a better friend or father figure (or nothing) than date. (I’ve been dating a lot of 20-somethings, pro fighters and martial artists, so while the right man does not need to be built like that, there’s got to be some sort of chemistry.) As for the 20 year old, he’s local, hit on me, I slept with him probably to get over the 23 year old and was looking for him to be a placeholder (around when I wanted him to be around) until I find Mr. Right. Of course he’s refusing to be quite that convenient. And when he offered to stay the night, I turned him down, despite the fact that, like Drake I “Hate Sleeping Alone.” When he came over last night, late I must add, I forced the poor specimen to watch the entire Tudor episode I’m on (bought the series) and then, after he excused himself to use the bathroom and completely stunk it up, I was turned off, and decided I was tired. I told him I needed to get my sleep and he needed to leave. Much to my surprise he texted “I just want u to know that I enjoy your company, whether we’re making love or not. i think you’re sweet and I like spending time with you. And I hope to see you soon.” Then he wanted to know how I slept. I slept with my bathroom window open thank you.

   Wish me luck on my date tonight. I can’t wait to meet with this one. If only to put an end to the constant calls and texting if there’s no chemistry. (My day is great! It was great early today, its still great. I like that you’re thinking about me but think of something to say or stop texting me!) Apparently he’s coming from a 4 hour tattoo appointment so I’m guessing he’ll have had enough of sharp objects by the time I meet with him. But I’m going to go sharpen my specimen-slaying sword just in case.

   Signed,
   Head of the Harem.

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