After the initial exchange and first date with the non-detestable specimen (“NDS”), Princess MoMo was apathetic until NDS once again temporarily became amusing (not for long though). NDS and MoMo had an interesting telephone conversation during which they joked about procreating to form either a mini-MoMo or NDS Jr. Subsequent to their hypothetical joint life planning session, the texts below were exchanged.
NDS: I just saw a commercial for a minivan and I got nervous
Princess: Yea we’ll need that, especially if we have twins.
NDS: At least you said “we’ll.”
NDS: And I will most definitely kill myself well before I own a minivan.
Princess: The minivan will be convenient to transport your dead body
NDS: Well, considering I would die before the minivan, I guess you’d have to stuff me into your beloved BMW.
Princess: Make sure you kill yourself in a clean way then bc I don’t want blood on my zebra seat covers and floor mats
Princess: Not to mention on the zebra baby car seat
NDS: See I was assuming the trunk, like normal jail fearing people, but actually I could see you driving around with a dead body in your front seat, telling the cops, “aren’t I the cutest little murderer ever.”
NDS: …and they’d probably say move along miss
Princess: And I could use the H.O.V. lane
Princess: I don’t think there’s a law that requires that carpooling person to be alive
NDS: Yeah that would seal the insanity defense in the murder trial. Judge: “miss momo, am I understanding this correctly? You’ve been driving around with a dead body in order to use the hov lane?”. You: “Obviously I did, this isn’t even the first time I’ve done this. Having another living person in my car is generally rather annoying because of increased window fogging among other things. Furthermore the traffic in the regular lanes is not conducive to maintaining my happiness, so this is the best compromise I think.
Princess: But I never said I was going to murder you. You said you would kill yourself. I simply offered to clean up your mess. What a nice person I am.
NDS: Yeah I guess I’ll leave you a note so they couldn’t try and pin it on you.
Princess: Videotape the suicide and perhaps have some witnesses present. It will assist me in being acquitted.
Princess: Thanks in advance for your cooperation
You must be logged in to post a comment.