Princess MoMo

Specimen:
Hola! :-)

Hi there! I don’t know why I typed “hola” since I’m not Spanish at all, but oh well. So how has this site been for you so far? Hopefully no horror stories! I guess I should probably write something more witty, catchy, or funny, but here’s some random stuff about me…

I would die without chicken.

My favorite color is forest green. It probably means something but I don’t know.

I love Italy/Greece for the history and think I was a gladiator in a past life.

I’m feisty and competitive in just about anything.

If I watch a cooking/craftsy show I think I can do exactly the same thing…doesn’t often work though!

I always choose the window seat on a plane.

Well, that was silly…feel free to say hi anytime if you’d like to chat. Have a great weekend!

Jeff

Princess MoMo:

RE: Hola! :-)

Jeff –

Did you know that elephants can distinguish between urine scents and identify their family members therewith, even if they’ve been separated for years? I’m like an online dating elephant and your message is like elephant urine. I sniffed it out and determined that you sent me the same exact message on another dating site a few months ago. There are three obvious problems with your approach:

1. Apparently, you don’t possess a memory like an elephant, which leads you to send the same boilerplate message to the same person multiple times. Why is this a problem? Because then people like me think you’re lame AND people like me put you on blast on a blog. (So, for me it’s actually not a problem, it’s a favor. Thank you for providing me with material.)

2. You put zero effort into customizing/tailoring your message to the message recipient. Why is this a problem? Because you’re response rate will be lower on account of your failure to personally connect with the people to whom you’re writing.

3. The message itself is corny. For example, the “hola” bit is in no way amusing or cute. Why is that a problem? Because it may lead people to believe you’re corny. If you actually are, then it’s not a problem, but rather an accurate reflection of your personality. But if you aren’t, then you may be prematurely dismissed based on the perceived corniness.

I will close this message with a compliment, and perhaps one of the highest compliments I can bestow upon online daters. Your grammar surpasses that of your online dating competition. Nice work.