On August 14, 2011, a call from a specimen came through on my device. I met this specimen through my online dating escapades last year. Our first date was on Sunday, June 20, 2010. We met for dinner. Conversation wasn’t particularly riveting, but I attributed that to us being exhausted from the weekend shenanigans . […]
The Breakup
We had been together six long years. The union began in 2006 when I was just a college girl. I was young and unassuming then, blinded by material things and the prospect of having a Sidekick. I wasn’t quite ready to break things off with the previous one though. For some time, I […]
MoMo the MiscreANT
Last time there was an ant roaming around on MoMo's office desk, her conscience stopped her from killing it. But that little fucker (the ant, not her conscience), decided to reappear today. This time, MoMo overcame any internal moral opposition to ant assassination. Because these desk ants move at a very high rate of speed, […]
Bad Shirt Epidemic
I can’t seem to catch a break on the shirts the specimens wear during my in-person encounters with them. I’ve written about this issue at least three times on this blog (the worst shirt, the most homo shirt, the stupid shirt). And there were plenty of other detestable shirts in between. Last night, I went out […]
MoMo’s Apology to Capo
After today's post about MoMo and Mafioso, MoMo discovered that Capo defriended her blog facebook profile. Surprisingly, MoMo's Jiminy Cricket surfaced. She messaged Capo the following: Capo- I see you've taken the liberty of defriending me, presumably because of my blog post publicizing our cyber interaction. I have this internal parasite that I just can't […]
MoMo and the Mafioso
This self-proclaimed Capo, a facebook random, has been on a diligent pursuit to unite MoMo (or Diva, as he refers to her) with Mafioso (or Capo/Don/Boss/Angel as he refers to him). The negotiations are below: June 2, 2011 Capo: You look like a Diva/Angel, So so hot, I would to have dinner or cafe, […]
Online Dating: Mother Fucking Joe and his Hooker Tale
Princess MoMo and Mother Fucking Joe began corresponding in April. After their exchanges on the dating site, communication was limited to periodic facebook comments and the occasional facebook message. Over the course of their facebook friendship, MoMo recognized that Mother Fucking Joe was consistently amusing. Ergo, she decided she wanted to meet him. Below is […]
Robocop: The Confession
Preface: The confession is somewhat anticlimactic. So if you’re disappointed at the end because you were expecting something juicer, don’t say you weren’t warned. Introduction Once upon a time, in late 2005, Princess MoMo became acquainted with one known to the MoMo cyber world as Robocop. Despite MoMo’s deep-seated dislike for the boys in […]
The Berry Tree
Princess MoMo, for the most part, doesn’t like the outdoors Because there are many things existing out there that she abhors Such things include bugs, birds, dirt and poisonous plants Many of those elements have been the subject of MoMo’s rants Today she thought nature was offering her peace And that all of its unpleasantness […]
Princess MoMo’s Jump Rope FAILS
Even though MoMo is competent in cart-wheeling, her ability (or lack thereof) in jump roping leaves much to be desired.
Special Delivery: Princess MoMo gets a package
Princess MoMo and a specimen for whom she has not yet coined a name had a date scheduled for Friday, April 29, 2011. Arrangements for this date were made roughly two weeks in advance. However, thanks to sloppy facebook practices on MoMo’s part, she not only canceled the date, but potentially offended the specimen. On […]
Specimen Suitor Attempts to Lure me in with Princess MoMo Speak
On Saturday night, Princess MoMo discovered that her group of friends was no longer present in the bar. But more disturbing, one of said friends had absconded with her device! MoMo was alarmed. She did a scan of the bar for a specimen worthy to help her track down her missing apparatus. She approached her […]
Divine Manifestations: A Castle Under Siege
Ever since Princess MoMo documented her terrifying encounter with evil mastermind motherbugger bin Spider, she and her loved ones have been under constant attack by members of al-Spida (rhymes with al-Qaeda) terrorist cells. First, the birds, bees and crickets conspired to disrupt Princess MoMo’s beauty rest and daytime dining. Second, MoMo’s mama reported a sneak […]
Princess MoMo’s Tavern Toilet Talk
Princess MoMo’s bladder required relief. She moseyed to the restroom in the drinking establishment. After waiting in the inevitable line, MoMo entered the stall. She sat her royal ass upon the toilet throne. In the stall next to MoMo, an individual was loudly describing her distaste for another female to her friend. One of […]