You know, maybe I am too picky. With all of these wonderfully qualified, eligible bachelors that contact me on the interwebs, there is no other plausible explanation for the fact that I’m single. Oh wait, yes there is. The bachelors aren’t actually wonderfully qualified; they’re ridiculous (not in a good way). Today’s most eligible bachelor […]
Mr. Lambo Update by Mr. Lambo
Below, courtesy of Mr. Lambo, is a brief summary of the past couple of weeks. The pink “Editor’s Notes” are my comments. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- The past 5 weeks have been interesting. Despite our obvious differences, we continue to spend time together and seemingly grow closer. We’ve had our ups and downs just like everyone else, but […]
To Catch a Predator + Survey
Back in the day, online dating was taboo. Now that it is mainstream, it is not uncommon to encounter profiles of people I know. On Monday night, a guy with whom I went to middle and high school messaged me. The picture he had up on the site was of a sunset, but his location […]
Online Dating: Smile
Specimen: hey how are you? i really like your smile alot :) do you have aol or yahoo so we can talk?? Analysis: Please note, “a lot” is two words, not one. Next, why would the fact that he likes my smile compel me to chat with him? I analogize this message to the expression, “Nice […]
Online Dating Fails: Ethnic Smile
Specimen: Hello there! I hope all is well! You have a nice smile. What is your ethnicity? Analysis: I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on my smile lately. I thought it was limited to online crap, but I was out this weekend and some guy stopped me to tell me how dazzled he was […]
Online Dating Fails: Another Marriage Proposal
Specimen: hey wats up.. you have a beautiful smile. can i marry u ? i already bought your ring and wedding dress! Analysis: But, he doesn’t know my dress or ring size! In all seriousness, this message isn’t clever or appealing. It’s not even original. Here are examples of others who have suggested marriage in […]
Date Dissection 12/30/11 – Mr. Lamborghini (Third Date – Mr. Lambo’s Version Part II)
Click here for Part I of Mr. Lambo’s rendition of the facts of the third date. After leaving Olive Garden we headed further into my hood (aka PA). Our next stop, a popular local bar in Bethlehem. The entire ride to Bethlehem I was still thinking about our kiss. Not that it was a big deal, […]
Online Dating Fails: Graffiti Nation
Now, I usually don’t post pictures of the specimens who message me, but as the saying goes, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” I’m not in the mood to write that many words, so here are 2000 words worth of pictures, plus a few words. Tysofly: HEY HOW U DOIN Analysis: Regardless of his […]
Online Dating Fails: Bullshit Grammar, Great Legs
Sometime ago, I broke down the online dating haters into four categories. Can you identify which category this one falls into? (Click here for the “HATERs” post.) Hater: You are nuts what maters is you are able to make a connection on a computer and talking and meeting not the grammer bullsh*tyou have great legs […]
Mr. Lamborghini’s Lambo
I requested verification of Mr. Lambo’s Lamborghini ownership. He picture texted me the photograph below, depicting the Lambo and the Eclipse. Obviously, a copy of the title would serve as better proof, but I can only work with what I’m given for now. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- Your “likes” and comments are encouraged and appreciated. Thanks. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- Related Posts: […]
Date Dissection 12/30/11 – Mr. Lamborghini (Third Date – MoMo’s Version Part II)
Click here for Part I of Princess MoMo’s rendition of the facts of the third date. We departed from The Olive Garden. Where to? Some random bar in PA. What a sight to behold that was. For reasons unbeknownst to me, many of the patrons had cut-outs of their heads glued onto popsicle sticks. […]
Online Dating Fails: Tell me the truth
11/30/2011 1:23:37 AM Subject Line: tell me the truth you do seem almost as awsome as me 12/12/2011 12:36:24 PM Subject Line: tell me the truth nice tan nice tan ——————————————————————————————————————————————- Analysis: Here’s the truth: You suck and I’m not writing back to you. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- Your “likes” and comments are encouraged and appreciated. Thanks. ——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Online Dating Fails: Toy Soldiers
Specimen: I have been staring at your picture speechless and in awe for the past hour or so. That deep gaze in your eyes, your perfect smile, all of your features just seem to all come together so well, almost angelical in a sense I suppose. The reason I am writing this is to let […]
Online Dating: A day in the online dating inbox (December 30, 2011)
Have you ever wondered what an online dating female’s inbox looks like on a given day? Wonder no more! These are the messages I received on December 30, 2011. Mind you, I’ve had a profile on this particular site for 10 months, which means that the number of messages has significantly dwindled because many users […]
Online Dating Fails: Five times the messages, five times the failure
11/29/2011 10:18:32 AM Subject Line: friends with benefits Hi, I’m Kyle. Check mine out and let me know what you think. Thanks 11/29/2011 11:14:49 AM Subject Line: 2nd try Hi, I’m Kyle. I like your profile and I think we would make a great match. Please check mine out and let me know what you […]