Apparently, I should have started this blog 15 years ago. I came across a message to a 2005 specimen regarding another specimen that I met in October 2005. Here’s the message: Subject line: weird text messages i hope you’re having fun in PA with your jewish festivities. i have a story for you regarding weird […]
Guest Submission: Online Dating Fails – Damaged Manhood
Do you believe love conquers all? Does a true and perfect love make life all worthwhile? To you, what is love? Is it just a feeling, the way how it feels to be in love, or is it more than the mere sum of those pleasurable sensations and experiences? Hello, I’m Bo and I really […]
Differences in Approach: Flowers vs. You Suck
Last week, I was in a castrating mood. On Monday, Mr. T was banished from the Princess MoMo Kingdom. On Tuesday, Mr. Car was similarly exiled. That Friday, Mr. T had flowers delivered to my office. To that point, I hadn’t heard from Mr. Car, aside from him “liking” someone’s comment on one of my […]
Date Dissection: Second date with Mr. T
Last we left off, I was not speaking to Mr. T. I didn’t speak to him for three days. On Friday, he had flowers delivered to my office. It was a pleasant surprise. They smelled wonderful. In fact, over the weekend, I had my office door closed and when I opened it this morning, the […]
An entry from MoMo’s 1996 diary
I recently found a diary that I maintained for about six months during the ages of 11 and 12. Below is one of the entries followed by my analysis. Dec. 6, 1996 J= Jovan SSP = Sedric CB= Carry (Bitch) Yesterday I started going out with a boy named Sedric (Pint). I don’t know if […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles Part 4
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 3 Mr. Riddles: I think you dish it, but you certainly can’t take it. I don’t need your floaties. I can swim just fine, thank you. (2 days later) Mr. Riddles: Did I really […]
Online Dating: Mr. Disqualified
Mr. Disqualified: Subject: Caveat Emptor no longer exists! [Editor’s Note: “Caveat Emptor is the headline on my dating profile.] Hello Esquire! Before I proceed here are the answers to your questions: 1.) You’re (You are) 2.) There’s (There is) 3.) Than 4.) Here Also, lawyers should not be using contractions when they write or type. […]
Date Dissection 11/9: Mother Fucking Joe
Last night I met with a character who surfaced on this blog shortly after its inception in mid-April of this year. His name: Mother Fucking Joe. Since he first messaged me in April, Mother Fucking Joe and I have been in periodic contact via the dating site, facebook and through our devices. We […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Racist
Mr. Racist: What type of perfect man is interested in a non Caucasian female anyway? Did you ever consider changing your race to attract men? If you are not of Northern, or Western European descent, how can you expect a successful man to be attracted to you. Your ancestors clearly came from a third world […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles Part 3
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Mr. Riddles: Emily Blunt, Let’s get something straight: I said from the beginning that I only messaged you to prove that all guys aren’t idiots. Also, my claims are not unsubstantiated because I failed to answer your futile attempt at weeding […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles Part 2
For this post to make optimal sense, read Part 1 first. Mr. Riddles Quizmaster, I admit, I am not happy with myself for getting that answer wrong, however, I did correctly state the order of operations… I just didn’t listen to myself. I hate to admit that you impressed me in anyway. Therefore, I […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles
Mr. Riddes: 1. You’re… because you are using the contraction for you are… not your as in possessing the thought of you being nuts? … that wouldn’t make sense although it is comical. 2. There’s … again contraction for ‘there is’ because… there is a method to your madness even though I haven’t figured it […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Moonlight
Mr. Moonlight: Hi my name is Paul I saw your profile and really liked it. I am 38 year old who is family oriented, educated, and fun to be around. I have Blondish hair blue eyes 5ft10 clean cut attorney. I am charming and funny. I am seeking a lady who is down to earth, […]