Stuck in my business like in a dope fiend’s arm, a needle Thought by now you’d have overdosed, too much MoMo’s lethal You’re toxic and shitty, matter of a fact, you’re not friends, you’re fecal Bet you’ve been refreshing my site, searching for some more, a saucy sequel You can’t get enough of this rhyming […]
Traitor Jo Rap
Honesty is the best policy, but your pathology had you chronically lying to me, now you come with an apology for the distorted and twisted chronology, but it’s not genuine, much like reverse psychology, time to clean up that shit, call it a cleansing colonoscopy No hard feelings or bad blood, bet you can relate […]
Mr. Hong Kong in New York
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part III (Sodom, Gomorrah, and Rihanna). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part IV (Let There be Light). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part V (Farewell). I […]
Mr. Redcoat: ‘Twas 13 Nights Before Christmas
‘Twas 13 nights before Christmas, when all through the City Drunk Santas were stirring, sipping, and getting shitty; Amateurs were imbibing with not a bit of a care, We even witnessed one person fall off her chair. Predators were prowling for prey to place snug in their beds, While visions of getting it in […]
Epic Rap Battles of Online Dating
To avoid the drudgery of reading one lame-ass message after another in the cyber dating world, I very recently implemented a new rule. The rule is that cyber suitors must write to me in rhyme. My online dating profile is styled in the form of the theme song from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Here […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part IV
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II CLICK HERE FOR PART III ThePureRican 10/7/2015 9:43:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Arabia, please, I’ve just been exhausted/ I see I’ve gotten to you so bad that you’ve completely lost it/ Back to tex’, call me Rex, a Fine Tyrannosaurus/ Lil’ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part III
CLICK HERE FOR PART I CLICK HERE FOR PART II ThePureRican 10/6/2015 9:00:15 PM Report this message for inappropriate content I apologize, I was riding, didn’t mean to stop our debate/ I truly wish you a Happy Birthday, a Blessed day and night to celebrate/ Don’t get too comfortable though, tomorrow take a look/ Philoso_Phish […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess Part II
CLICK HERE FOR PART I ThePureRican 10/6/2015 1:41:25 PM Report this message for inappropriate content Oh, here we go, this chick acts like she wrote the book of rhymes/ Trying to get technical, okay, let’s get it on, it’s lunch time/ See nothing on my country? Let’s be honest, not the case or is it?/ […]
POF rap battle: PureRican vs. Fresh Princess
ThePureRican 10/5/2015 6:34:07 PM Report this message for inappropriate content The Pure Rican is the PUREST, Arabia, of all pure/ So be careful what you ask for/ Because if this Rican licked your labia, you’d be hooked, askin’ for more/ Trust me, it’s not a joke, I’d be willing to make the bet/ ThePureRican, once […]
Trayvon Martin – Read this and voice your opinion on the comments
Eli Jeff I’m really sick of the stupidity surrounding the Treyvon Martin case. He attacked a man, and was killed in self-defense. Period. Princess MoMo This status is stupid. Have you heard the 911 tapes? Eli Jeff I heard the tapes where innocent little treyvon was on top of zimmerman beating his ass. the witness statements are […]
Ironing the Floor
I woke up possessed by a cleaning demon. Unable to exorcise it, I began to unclutter my sleeping chambers. During that process, I laundered several articles, including clothing, my pink sheets and zebra pillow cases, my blanket and (this is where the trouble began) the two little area rugs that sit outside of my bathroom […]
NEW! Online Dating Profile
Inspired by the creation of a new online dating profile on PlentyofShit, I wrote a new profile narrative. My old one isn’t too shabby, but let’s see what kind of response the new ones garners. Once upon a time, in a strange far far away land known as New Jersey, there lived a maiden by […]
Sour MoMo (Gchat with Mr. Car)
Mr. Car: I had such bad sleep last night Princess MoMo: dreaming of disco? Mr. Car: actually the night turned differently than expected Princess MoMo: how so Mr. Car: well, there was fun involved dancing and drinking Princess MoMo: cool Mr. Car: yes, and the lovely company of a 47yr old woman haha Princess MoMo: […]
A Battle of the MoMos: A look into my mental sphere
A. Background Emotions. Who needs them? Since roughly the age of 12 or 13, I’ve been trying to suppress mine. Almost a decade and a half later, I still haven’t succeeded. During my college years, my “you can’t affect me” masquerade was fairly effective. I held the MoMo feeling fortress down and all potential trespasses were shot on sight. In 2006, […]
A Piece of MoMo’s Mind: Why First Dates Involving Planes And Weekend Getaways Are Not A Good Idea. (Camping isn’t a good idea either.)
I recently went on the most outlandish of first dates in the extensive history of MoMo dating. Dude showed up in a single engine aircraft and swooped me up to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend. Fun times? Yes. Relaxing? Yes. Blog worthy? Abso-fucking-lutely. Copacetic? No. “Why not,” you may ask. Or you may […]