Princess MoMo

Intro: Below is a write-up courtesy of one of my good friends. He is new to the online dating scene and I’ve been coaching him through it. In exchange for my advice, he agreed to submit a summary of his first in-person encounter with an online dating specimen. (For the record, specimen is a gender-neutral term and it is not intended to be derogatory. Okay? I hope that clears things up and all you boys stop crying about how offensive you perceive the term to be. Man up. No one wants to hear about how you feel objectified. Rant over.) Anyway, below is his date dissection with “Editor’s Notes” from yours truly, Princess MoMo. Enjoy!
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Mo, I’m not exactly sure how to write this but I’ll start with my lack of dating as an introduction, followed by our internet email introduction, date and summary of the night. If it seems out of sequence you can restructure it. I’m afraid if I pursue this female and it becomes something she might end up wanting to read your blog…which she’ll dissect this one as her.

So I’m new to this online dating thing. I’m shocked at what’s really out there trying to meet people.

[Editor’s Note: Why is he shocked? Has he not been keeping up on my blog? Bad friend.]

It’s been quite an experience so far with only a month of online exchanges with hoodrat females with their illegitimate, comingled children.

That was Plenty of Fish(from here on known as “POF”)…I decided to advance beyond that with Match due to the advice of Princess MoMo and another friend/neighbor.

[Editor’s Note: Sound advice. That Princess MoMo character seems to be an intelligent one.]

Those of you unfamiliar with such platforms of meeting others…. It’s a professional environment (if you could say that), to message and communicate to see if it’s worth a date and from there on. Much more professional than POF. You have to pay, which weeds out the unserious, impoverished people, unlike POF.

[Editor’s Note: I wouldn’t go as far as to say it’s a “professional” environment, but certainly pay sites are less laden with losers.]

My true formal dating history has been minimal. Every girl I’ve met in the past was usually introduced to me, we hit it off and it worked for x amount of time. No formal dating required, we just fell into a relationship together. Or as in my last relationship I met a girl while she was on the job and gave her my #, it was good from the start without any awkward moments. We hit it off, had a great time together but her true colors showed, so I broke it off. So basically I don’t know the dating etiquette especially with the internet as the meeting platform. It is tiring though, reading a profile, checking out their pictures, writing an email to stranger that has to have content as well as be witty. Ask the right questions etc…in order to secure a response from a potentially nice lady.

[Editor’s Note: I preferred the way he described this to me orally. I called him an hour before his date to prep him and make sure he put on some damn cologne; I’m not insinuating that his natural scent is putrid, but certain colognes are a turn on. During the pre-date convo., I told him that I was concerned he would immediately fall into a relationship with this girl because that has been his habit since I’ve known him. He said, “I can’t help it. The girls I meet just fall in love with me. I’m a good guy, I have my shit together and I bang like a porn star.” Five minutes later, while he was searching for gum for the date (despite me telling him to go with mints instead to avoid chewing like a cow), he found a note from his ex in which she wrote that he blew her mind the previous night.]

I’m going to describe a very nice female, (I don’t feel as though she should be regarded as a “specimen”), I had the opportunity to go on a first date with last night. From here on we’ll call her “Dee.”

[Editor’s Note: See comment re: “specimen” in the Intro. section. Also, her name should have been Ms. Dee or Ms. something-even-catchier. But, you will learn the art of MoMo-blogging in time, young grasshopper.]

She’s in her late 20’s, caucasian, gainfully employed, quite attractive as well as well-written. Initially she sends a wink, which I reply with and send a short email shortly after that. We exchange 1 more time around and she suggests we meet for a drink to see if it’s a connection or not. So we agree to the next evening for a quick drink at a nice pub in my neck of the ‘hood.

I arrive early, order a pint of their finest, watch some lame-ass NCAA basketball game (I hate BBALL) while waiting for her. She arrives EXACTLY on time, which is of most importance to me, especially as a first impression. I don’t like late people and I hate to wait. +1 for her.

[Editor’s Note: Being timely to dates is overrated.]

Dee walks in, confident in her step as she finds me immediately. We greet with a warm mutual smile, a short hello and she takes a seat with me. Doesn’t order a shitty beer. +1 again.

[Editor’s Note: I’m so glad he didn’t greet her with a hug or kiss on the cheek. Making intentional physical contact with a complete stranger is a “touchy” thing to do. Certain people require the establishment of a certain rapport before they are comfortable with others invading their personal space.]

Prior to this meeting we had exchanged numbers the day before, but had yet to speak on the phone or text. The confirmation text of our date which I was going to send 1.5 hours prior to meeting was sent by her a few minutes before I was going to send mine. So I called her to let her know yes, we are on and I’ll be at the bar. 1 minute of speaking, no texting prior, only the simple emails on Match.

[Editor’s Note: Ballsy move, my friend. I strongly prefer at least one phone interview before meeting in person.]

This is a new strategy I think was worth it. It gave us an opportunity to speak about the simple casual things on our initial meeting, rather than investing an hour on the phone with someone. It allowed us to have small talk, which secures further conversing. (I’m great at talking to people, I have to for my career so small talk is easy to lead into real conversation.) The 1 minute phone call prior to our meeting was simple, but she was well spoken in her emails, as well as this phone call. So I was impressed with Dee before meeting her. I’ve never gone on a true blind date, and this basically was one. I’m a confident man, yet I was nervous for some reason, this is new territory for me. I didn’t drink much either, which is rare, considering I was nerved up.

Our conversation is easy from the beginning, no stress even though I was nervous for the date. (Remember, this is my first crack at it, especially formally as well as basically a blind date). We have small talk about the general area we both live in, such as “how long have you lived here” then, “how come you moved here instead of elsewhere,” etc…. The conversing commenced for approximately 2.5 hours, with an intermission of 1 mutual piss break. It was comfortable for both of us, her body language and speech reflected this conclusion. We even ended up talking a couple more minutes as I walked her to her car.

Come to find out that this is such a small world… Dee’s girlfriend is married to a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in many years. Name of individuals cannot be disclosed due to confidentiality issues. After this revelation I tell her to text her friend, tell him I said hi and inform her of my surname. They exchange a couple short texts, and even though I haven’t seen him in years he sends “his approval.” (of me). +1 for me.

Our night was great, we clicked immediately. Well-spoken, written, career-oriented, friendly, confident, attractive and most importantly smart. She has a brain and uses it. She has similar interests. (I have to find out if she approves of my hunting/fishing as well as my interest in the shooting sports, and her political affiliation). This is not something I decided would be great first date conversation. As the night came to a close as I was walking her to her car we discussed another date, this time over dinner. We’re both excited for it, I opened her car door, hugged and kissed her(on the lips) goodnight and told her I’m looking forward to seeing her again with strong eye-contact and a genuinely happy smile. +1 for both

[Editor’s Note: If she’s a hippie liberal, she out. -infinity points for hippie liberals.]

She texted me approximately 10 minutes later to thank me for a wonderful night and to say she’s looking forward to seeing me again. (She beat me to the text again!). I responded with a similar statement, also asking her to let me know when she’s home. She replied she is and thank you! See you soon! ;) +1 for both

[Editor’s Note: She should have waited for him to text her.]

In summary, this first date (blind date), was a success. I can’t wait to go out again, have some wonderful conversation with Dee and see where it leads. Next time I’ll pursue the real kiss, haha. In the meantime I will continue to sort through the endless emails of non-sense. Maybe meet someone else who’s equally great. It’s this nice experience that makes the payment to Match worth it. Date #2 analysis to follow soon, if you want one.

[Editor’s Note: Yes, I want a write up of date #2, especially if I’m still on dating sabbatical.  Also, where’s the final point tally?]

Mo….This was fucking tiring. How do you do this? Besides the date effort, the analysis and report writing is tiring. I’m pretty bad at structuring the whole account of the night. Let me know what you think. I kept it as vague as possible so she can’t pick it up as her.

You owe me a case of beer for this, as well as 50% royalties in the future!

[Editor’s Note: Good. I’m glad it tired you. Now you understand the effort that goes into my posts. I sift through endless messages, communicate with strangers, interact live with them and then write a humorous and concise summary of said activities. Why? For your entertainment. You’re welcome, bitches. And, what do I ask for in return?  “Likes” and comments.  Give me more: https://www.facebook.com/princess.momo.blog]