Guest Submission: Date Dissection – There Will Be Blood

Posted by Princess MoMo on Dec 1 in Dating, Guest Submissions, Men, Princess MoMo's Friends

Intro: Another one of my wonderful friends has submitted a summary of one of her dates. This one is bloody. Accordingly, readers’ discretion is advised. Below is her write up, of course with my Editor’s notes. The pictures are from the actual crime scene.
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I ended up nearly slaying a specimen with a knife.

[Editor’s Note: This caught my attention. She took specimen slaying to a new level! Perhaps I should consider adding the element of a weapon to my dating escapades. Suggestions?]

Specimen came to visit from Baltimore (specimen intends to move to the area). Specimen drove up in his car and offered to show how to free oneself from bondage in case I am unlawfully imprisoned. He tied himself up with a cord but got stuck and was unable to free up. He then told me to release him with a knife.

[Editor’s Note: My inner sadist would have left him bondaged for a while.]

I took the knife, but found 1. The cord was tighter than it looked (it was made of heavy plastic), 2. My hands are rather feeble and inexperienced with such activities and 3. I was a little anxious and the knife kept slipping. I ended up cutting his hands 3 times with that knife. He dripped blood all over his hands, my hands, his car, this knife, and the second knife that was sharper and finally had the job done.

[Editor’s Note: Three times? Hardly sounds accidental.]

 

All the while he was standing around laughing and making jokes while passers-by walked around us, staring in horror. I had no plans to introduce specimen to my parents; however, there seemed to be no other way of cleaning his wounds and getting rid of all the blood. We came in covered in blood and made up the legend that he was trying to cut something and knife slipped. My mother did not stare so closely as to see there were three separate cuts on two hands. Parents were horrified enough that I chose not to go into details. We ended up having dinner at home and then slipping out to take photos of the “crime scene” – the car and the knives and taking a 3 hour-walk on the boardwalk.

[Editor’s Note: I don’t know who is more bold, her or him, for taking this boardwalk stroll after the “incident.”]

During the initial rush of excitement, we did not think of taking photos of our bloody hands.

[Editor’s Note: Bloodshed should not deter immediate photography.]

Prior to this, I have never, ever cut another human being, nor have I ever had the experience of being covered in someone else blood. I guess there’s a first time for everything!

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