Background: Princess MoMo has known RoboCop since 2005. Every so often, he makes advances on her. Said advances used to be more frequent, but it appears that at some point, rejection became less appealing to him. He recently denied her of a PBA card for about a month and a half because he is of the erroneous belief that Princess MoMo shouldn’t always get what she wants. Finally, he decided to succumb to her request, despite her generous offer of nothing. He even came to deliver it to the castle, but MoMo missed the text informing her of his presence with the goods.
On May 23, 2011, MoMo ultimately picked up the card from his residence. After she returned home, he texted, “I’ve decided you can just owe me future legal favors.”
She responded, “Fair enough.”
He said, “Well it beats me trying to kiss you again next time.”
She was temporarily convinced that RoboCop comprehended that no future hook ups with Princess MoMo were on the horizon. Wrong.
Seven days later, Officer RoboCop texted MoMo asking if she wanted to “do something later[.]” Under the impression that he had forsaken overtly trying to put the moves on MoMo, she agreed. They decided to see a movie. He picked MoMo up in a vehicle with no top and no doors, otherwise known as a Jeep. Initially, MoMo was not comfortable with the vehicular situation because she feared she may fall out. Shortly thereafter, MoMo discovered more flaws in this automobile’s design. Because the wind was blowing in through the non-existent doors and roof, it was tampering with MoMo’s mane. She instinctively went to fix her hair in the side view mirror, only to discover that there was no side view mirror!! The Princess did not panic. She pulled down the passenger side sun visor anticipating her reflection would greet her, but alas, no mirror there either!! To what type of transportation had RoboCop subjected her? MoMo managed to make it to the movies notwithstanding mirror deprival and without falling out of the Jeep. Fortunately, the movie was enjoyable and RoboCop was on stellar behavior. He delivered MoMo to her home without so much as attempting to hug her. This seemed too good to be true.
The following night, RoboCop reverted back to his former douche self. The following text exchange ensued:
10:58 p.m. RoboCop: Sooo can we occasionally use each other to relieve sexual frustration? I’m bored
3:47 a.m. MoMo: No
8:29 a.m. RoboCop: Oh well
7:38 p.m. RoboCop: Don’t let my text from last night make shit awkward, I was bored as fuck and the question couldn’t hurt
Analysis: A leopard never changes its spots and evidently, a specimen never changes his failing approach. Not a good look RoboCop. MoMo was very slowly starting to believe that you had redeeming qualities. Way to prove her wrong.
what’s a PBA card? At least he didn’t ask you to lick his badge.