Princess MoMo

4/6/2012 1:23:09 PM

Gonna leave me hanging out to dry hmm? [I know this may come as a surprise, but when I said I didn’t ever want to talk to you again and then spent over an hour detailing the reasons why and then reinforced my decision repeatedly, I meant it.]  It’s a pity. [It truly is a pity that you keep trying.]  I truly felt we would be great for each other. [Reasonable minds can differ, though I’m hard pressed to characterize your mind as reasonable.] Best of luck Monica

5/13/2012 12:52:42 PM

You know? you hated my guts just because I happened to be talking to someone else at the time and I was completely honest about it.  [Actually, I did not hate you.  I found you uninteresting and then, when I told you I didn’t want to talk to you, you exhibited psycho stalker tendencies.  I see not much has changed.]   That certainly isn’t the case now and we had such great chemistry and so much in common.  [After meeting, we hung out once.  That was all it took for me to realize that I didn’t want to repeat the experience.  So, if by great chemistry, you mean like combining bleach and ammonia, then maybe we do have great chemistry.] Why don’t you put your arrogance away and just come and hangout with me.  [It is not my arrogance that is stopping me from hanging out with you; it is my sanity and good judgment.]   I really like cheese and I still do now and I’d like to see where it goes if we actually gave it a shot. [Why do you have to bring cheese into this?]  we are both very special and very unique and its gonna b another 1,000,000 times before you find another me so stop being so stubborn  [Yes, we are both very special; however, the variety of special differs.  The odds that it’s going to be another 1,000,000 times before I find another you are too high.  For the sake of mankind, I was hoping that you were one of a kind.]

6/10/2012 9:03:05 PM

what do I have to do? [Stop messaging me.] I would like to marry you. [Why would you wish such a terrible thing upon me?] So stop messing around and get in touch =]  [Get out of touch.  It seems you’ve accomplished that with respect to reality.  Redirect your out-of-touchness and apply it to me!]

9/25/2012 10:54:03 AM

I still want my hunny back ;)  [I was never and will never be your hunny and you never had me!]

10/18/2012 8:04:27 PM

I still want you ;) I’ve got it all now babe! Why would you not Give me a shot? LoL blind hatred!  [Ok. You’re bat shit crazy.]

10/21/2012 9:56:25 PM

Still want you everytime I see you ;)  [I’m flattered, but we can’t always have what we want.]

11/22/2012 9:55:31 AM

Oh comeonnnnnnn.  [You comeonnnnnnnnn, dude.  Do you really think I’m playing hard to get for 3.5 YEARS?!  No, I’m playing I don’t want to be gotten by you.  Comeonnnnnnnnnnnn!!!]   Just Go out to dinner with me and I’m sure everything will fall into place.  [I bet you have a basket with my name on it that you want me to put the lotion in after I rub the lotion on my skin.  And, I bet you have a hose too.]   We had an amazing time when we first met, we had so much in common, and we are awesome together!  [No we didn’t and we aren’t.]  I just happen to be dating somebody else at that time but now the timing isn’t bad.  [Yeah, you happened to be dating someone else for a week after which point you wouldn’t leave me alone despite several direct communications from me telling you that I wanted nothing to do with you.]  So stop being so stubborn and call me 732REDACTED plus I am rich now and have all my Shit together =p  [Spend some of that money you purportedly have getting therapy.  You need it.  Or, spend it on a hooker.  Do whatever you want with it as long as it doesn’t involve me.]  Happy thanksgiving and warmest regards!
Christopher

2/3/2013 4:06:39 PM

I love you!  [Just try to contain the crazy a little bit.]

2/4/2013 12:38:48 PM

Come onnnnnn. You’ve punished me enough.  [It is you who is punishing me.  All I did was go to a BBQ 3.5 years ago and chat up a guy that appeared attractive.  Little did I know you were relentlessly insane.]  These guys are huge losers.   [I don’t disagree, but you are no better.]  Come and see me.   [I don’t have a death wish.]  You will love me forever. [I’m sure you’ll tie me up and put me in a dungeon until you’re convinced that I do.]  We will make it a fairy tale princess. [The princes in fairy tales are not fucking stalkers.]  You’re amazing, so am I, we are meant to be darling ;)<3  [Just euthanize me.  Put me out of my misery.]

2/4/2013 12:40:12 PM

Breathtaking in that blue dress especially =x you’re one incredible girl. Absolutely incredible ;)  [Thanks.]

2/6/2013 4:57:46 PM

Call me! [Remember almost a year ago when you wrote to me and asked me to text you right away?  Yeah, about that.  There was a reason that I didn’t.  That reason is because I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU.  EVER.  COME ONNNNNNNNN!!!!!]   732-REDACTED for crying out loud be friends with me at least. [I’m crying right now.  Real tears.  Salty tears, because you just won’t go away.  You know what quality I don’t like in friends?  The annoying as shit quality.  You exhibit that quality in abundance.  So, no, let’s not be friends.  Let’s be nothing.]   Worst case scenario we have a lot of fun and you have a life long friend. [Worst case scenario you capture me and store me in your basement.  I’m not willing to risk it.]  I’m a great guy.  [No you aren’t.  You suck and you’re annoying beyond belief.] You haven’t got any reason to hate me.  [I don’t hate you.  You’re just like that annoying hair that keeps growing back no matter how many times you get tweezed.  It might be time to break out the laser.] I grew up more. I don’t drink or go to clubs or anything anymore. [Hopefully that means that more girls are safe.]  I mean I don’t know what else you can want in a person. [Silly me. What more could a girl possibly want?]  At least be friends with me.  [No.] I know you’re a wonderful girl and you’re so smart and quippy and sarcastic and we are the same person except with different equipment lol. So please let us hang out? Xo  [Just stop.]