Princess MoMo

Background: This happened last Sunday and Monday (11/6-7), but I waited to post it because I didn’t want to give him the benefit of reading my analysis/commentary before I knew how the situation was going to play out.

I maintain multiple facebook accounts. Mr. T had the pleasure of being friends with me on two of them. Despite my multiple accounts and numerous friends, I sense when people defriend me. I cannot explain it, aside from to say it is intuition. I noticed that Mr. T had defriended one of my accounts. I texted him (exchange below), inquiring as to why he would do such a thing. Some of you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? Who cares?” I do. Here’s why: It costs nothing in terms of time, money, effort, space or anything else to maintain a facebook friendship with someone. On the other hand, defriending someone requires affirmative action (not in the sense of righting racial wrongs, in the sense of being the opposite of expending negative action aka inaction).

Mr. T’s explanation was unsatisfactory to me. He claimed he wanted to decrease his visibility so that no one would identify his blog character with the actual person. If that were the case, he could simply refrain from commenting publicly on any of my content. Aside from him commenting and making his identity obvious, how else would anyone know who he is? He expressed that I was overreacting and being crazy. I disagreed.

Tapping into my inner spite, I defriended him from my other account. He didn’t like that very much. Rather than empathetizing with how I felt when he defriended me, he applied double-standards to the situation. At that point, I no longer cared about the defriending, but his argument style turned me off. I did not appreciate that he continued to act like I was insane when he was reacting the same way to the fact that I defriended him. Finally, I suggested that we block each other on facebook to avoid this nonsense drama. He said he would leave the facebook enforcement to me.

Later that night, he called me. While we were on the phone, I noticed that he had blocked me on facebook. I called him out on it. He said, “I was hoping you wouldn’t see that until after we got off of the phone.” I responded, “Didn’t you say you’d leave the facebook enforcement to me and that facebook is inconsequential? Then you go and block me?” He said, “I thought you’d send me some hate mail about it later.” I replied, “Oh, so now you’re intentionally trying to push my buttons? That’s even worse. On that note, goodnight.” With that, I hung up the phone. He texted a few times after that, but I didn’t respond. I did not communicate with him again until the end of the week (detailed in a separate post).

Below are the texts and facebook messages related to the facebook war. To date, we are still not facebook friends.

[Sunday Night Texts 11/6]
MoMo: You defriended me?
Mr. T: Not all of you. I kept my favorite mo mo
MoMo: Why the defriending?
Mr. T: To keep mr T pure
MoMo: WTF does that mean?
Mr. T: On the dl.
MoMo: How does defriending accomplish that?
MoMo: I take defriending personally
Mr. T: Don’t overreact
[At this point, I defriended him from my other account.]
Mr. T: You are out of your mind. What the hell?
MoMo: Why am I out of my mind?
Mr. T: For defriending me.
MoMo: Just returning the favor
Mr. T: I kept a fb relationship with my favorite momo and you cut me.

[Next Day Texts 11/7]
Mr. T: Re friend me.
Mr. T: Grouchy
Mr. T: Momolicious
MoMo: Yes?
Mr. T: Thinking about you.
Mr. T: No surprise

[Next Day Facebook Messages 11/7]
Mr. T: Ahem.
Princess MoMo: Yes?
Mr. T: RE-friend me, please.
Princess MoMo: why?
Mr. T: Because you like me.
Did you ever discuss the reappearance of Mr. T with your coworker?
Princess MoMo: I’m not accepting your friend request until I am satisfied with your explanation as to why you defriended my other account and why you did not mention that you had done so.
Mr. T: I was attempting to lessen my visibility on your pages. My goal was to mitigate the risk of being identified as Mr T. So I kept only enough contact to make sure I get to see your posts and can communicate with you. This was because I felt like being identified would make me feel weird/change my behavior. That is what I meant by keeping Mr. T pure.
Princess MoMo: That’s retarded. How would anyone link the two just by you being friends with a profile? Moreover, I don’t even have my friend list visible.
And, why wouldn’t you mention it to me?
One of the worst things anyone can do to me is defriend me on fb.
Cardinal sin in MoMoLand.
Mr. T: You are insane, woman.
I did not defriend you. I simply reorganized. Kept you as a friend until you defriended me.
Princess MoMo: Reorganized?
No.
You defriended me on one of the profiles.
Then, in turn, I defriended you on this one.
Bullshitting with terms like “reorganized” is not going to advance the ball here.
Also, calling me “insane” and “out of my mind” is not helping your cause either.
Mr. T: Crazy~!
Ok, well I guess this was a terrible sin that I’ve committed. Let me know when I’m off top-secret facebook probation.
Princess MoMo: Never. If you wanted to really decrease your visibility, you would have defriended both accounts or at least been happy when I removed you from the second one.
Your explanation is inconsistent with reality.
Mr. T: No, I wanted to decrease my visibility so I limited my attachment to one account. My favorite Momo account. I’m not sure how that is such a big deal.
Princess MoMo: It’s a big deal because it’s shady and your explanations aren’t making sense.
If you wanted to decrease visibility, you could have just refrained from commenting.
I don’t see how defriending provides additional benefits.
And, I don’t see why you would not have mentioned it to me.
Mr. T: What is shady? Only being friends on one account?
What was I supposed to mention? Holy shit this is inconsequential. Dont worry about refriending me. I’ll keep being your friend in the real world exclusively.
I could not care less about Facebook etiquette.
Princess MoMo: Moreover, if it isn’t a big deal, then why are you insisting that I should accept your friend request here?
Ok.
Mr. T: Facebook is software. It is not the real world.
I say this to make you aware that in actuality you were not defriended. Only on one of the 3 facebook accounts you use.
Now, I shall not speak of Facebook again. I have your phone number.
Princess MoMo: Ok. Because the facebook “software” is so inconsequential to you, would you prefer we block each other entirely on it?
Mr. T: I’m letting you enforce whatever rules you want. I’m failing to grasp the importance.
I just want to be able to communicate conveniently.

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Your “likes” and comments are encouraged and appreciated.  Thanks.

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Related Posts: 

MoMoLand Welcomes a New Character: Mr. T

Date Dissection 10/22 (Mr. T)

Guest Submission: Mr. T Write about “Meeting MoMo” 

Girl Talk re: Mr. T

The Decline of Mr. T

Mr. T’s Rendition of Our First Date 

Mr. T on the Rise Again? (11/2)