Princess MoMo

clubenvy 3/6/2012 2:44:12 PM Tall handsome guy here im actually 50 the age was wrong when profile was made, usually date much younger then myself with no problems.Trust me i dnt look my age and in better shape then most guys in the 20s lol. Nvr married no children but get along great with them. Looking to meet someone nice to see where it leads. Not on here to waste youre time or mine if you want to meet a nice guy thats older and has it all togher lets talk. Its a dating site chances of anything good comming from here are slim to none. But you just found a needle in a haystack. Hope to hear from you

Analysis:  Let’s break this one down sentence by sentence.

Sentence 1: Tall handsome guy here im actually 50 the age was wrong when profile was made, usually date much younger then myself with no problems.

Grammatically, that “sentence” is laden with flaws.  First, it is a run-on sentence.  Second, he used “then” instead of “than.”  (I’m giving him a pass on “im” because I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s typing on a not-so-smartphone.)  Substantively, he’s far out of my age range and the fact that he usually dates much younger THAN himself is unsettling.  It leads me to believe that he’s immature, a lecher, a pedophile, a controlling person or otherwise unstable.

Sentence 2: Trust me i dnt look my age and in better shape then most guys in the 20s lol.

Again, I’ll give him a pass on the “i.” But, again, he misused “then.” Additionally, the “lol” at the end of the sentence is stupid. What the hell is he laughing out loud about? He didn’t write anything mildly amusing.

Sentence 3: Nvr married no children but get along great with them.

Now, we know his ‘e’ button isn’t broken, so I’d like to buy a vowel for the first “word” in his sentence. Give me an ‘e’ please. Two e’s. I’d like to solve the puzzle: Never gonna get itzs. I’m glad he gets along with children, though. He’ll make a great impression on the kids that I don’t have.

Sentence 4: Looking to meet someone nice to see where it leads.

This sentence is very generic, but in comparison to the rest of his literary trash, it’s not bad.

Sentence 5: Not on here to waste youre time or mine if you want to meet a nice guy thats older and has it all togher lets talk.

Look at that: the ‘e’ mysteriously resurfaced and he misplaced it at the end of what should have just been “your.” There are also punctuation issues here. I’m also not really down with getting “togher.”

Sentence 6: Its a dating site chances of anything good comming from here are slim to none.

Damn right. I know that statement to be true from experience. (I’ve given up on this one’s grammar.)

Sentence 7: But you just found a needle in a haystack.

Right. Actually, I think I just found an virus-infected hypodermic needle in a pile of manure. Lucky me.

Sentence 8: Hope to hear from you

No, thanks.

THE END