Princess MoMo

Read to the end.

8/27/11

Specimen: You seem like a real challenge. I like that. Hit me up, I’d love to tell you a
little about myself.

Mike

MoMo: Hi Mike-

I’m not an Italian sports fanatic though.

[My response was based on his profile, which states, “I prefer Italian girls, but love all types of women[,]” and “I live for the Giants and Yankees, and truly appreciate a girl that can hold her own when it comes to knowing about sports.”]

Specimen: I think I’m ready for a change. The Italian thing hasn’t seemed to work out to this point. The sports thing we can hopefully work on. I bet you’d look cute in a little giant’s jersey.

MoMo: As long as you don’t dress me in anything involving orange, I’m open to it. (So mets and knicks gear are out of the question.)

Specimen: Haha, I can work with that. What do you do for a living, and why do you hate orange so much? I think the right shade would look good on you.

MoMo: I’m an attorney. I’m not completely averse to orange. In fact, I purchased an orange belt earlier this week. But as a general matter, my very colorful wardrobe is not laden with orange. It’s just a preference. Perhaps it’s genetic because my mother and brother don’t particularly care for orange either.

What do you do professionally?

Specimen: How many people in your family?

I’m an investment manager for a large bank. I’m a bit of a workaholic which can sometimes be a detractor for my past gf’s. If you have an issue with that, I guess I’m sorry. I just feel It’s better to work hard now while I have no true responsibilities, so I can set up the future the way I want it.

MoMo: I have one brother.

Specimen: Nice, I have a brother and 2 sisters. Do you live in Flemington now? Where do you like to hang out?

MoMo: What’s your birth order? Yes, I live in Flemington. I’ve been down the shore a few times this summer. Other than that, I hang out in New Brunswick and Hoboken mostly.

Specimen: I’m the 3rd. I generally stay around Morristown, but I am going to be moving to Hoboken or JC in October.

MoMo: Where do you work?

Specimen: JPMorgan Chase, I manage advisors in both the city and NJ. I’m 3 days a week in the city and 3 days a week in NJ.

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9/22/11 (almost one month later)

Specimen:
I know you are very complex and are probably looking for a great challenge. I would generally be all for that, but I just got out of a long relationship and am very confused when it comes to girls right now. You want to just start with sex, and see where it takes us?

MoMo: Really?

Specimen: Sure, why not?

MoMo: Because it will likely take you to ecstasy and me to disappointment. And, even if that is not the case, it’s still not worth my while because there are many of your gender ready, able and willing to engage in coitus with me. You have not demonstrated any outstanding characteristic that would convince me to choose you out of the crowd.

Specimen: Well you haven’t given me a chance to do that yet. Ask me anything, I won’t disappoint.

I know it may sound weird, but I just got out of a relationship. I don’t feel like meeting people at bars, and think this would be easier. Originally I was on here to try to jump back into a relationship, just like I always have done in the past. I’ve realized I’m just looking to meet someone cool, have casual sex, and see where it goes.

MoMo: Look elsewhere. And btw, your current approach likely won’t get you very far with females possessing appropriate or excessive amounts of self esteem.

Specimen: Wouldn’t necessarily call it my “current approach”. I don’t plan on approaching several girls the same way. I just figured you seemed intelligent enough to see through bullshit, so figured I would keep it real with you. I think you’re a little curious, but sorry for bothering you.

MoMo: Well, I can appreciate the “realness” factor, but I still will never have sex with you.

Specimen: lol, I guess I don’t blame you. Your loss though.

MoMo: Doubt it.

Specimen: well neither of us will ever know