Online Dating Fails: Stimulation of the Five Senses

Posted by Princess MoMo on Mar 25 in Epic fails, Men, Online dating

If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been sharing tales of specimens lately.  I’ve grown bored with the retarded messages that pile up in my inbox.   Every now and again, amidst the heap of shit, one message stands out.  Below is that outstanding message.  Read it and let me know what you think.

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Dear long dark hair, professional, educated and conversational,

 

 I’m a light skin mixed male that has a very special evening planned for you. I am the perfect gentlemen in every since of the word. I would never disrespect you or do anything that you would not approve of. This encounter with me is not rushed. It will be enjoyable for the both of us, especially for YOU!!! AND I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT THE TIME THAT WE SPEND TOGETHER YOU WILL NEVER FORGET!!! IT WOULD BE AS IF WE WERE MADE TO BE TOGETHER!!! WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS??? WELL READ ON!!!

 

How would you like to have an evening in which everything was geared toward pleasing your five senses from outside to inside your body?

 

They are:

 

1.       Sight

2.       Hearing

3.       Smell

4.       Taste

5.       Touch

 

Yes these 5 senses will be heighten when you spend an evening with me. Yes your time with me will consist of PAMPERING & SPOILING YOU literally as if you were in a Day Spa. So let me explain your evening with me if you choose to spend some time with me.

 

Now I can meet at your place or get a room it doesn’t matter. Hopefully your place has a bathtub that can fit the both of us. Or we can get a room with a Jacuzzi. You will see why that is important in a minute. Also I am bringing some items for us so that YOU can have the best ROMANTIC EXPERIENCE you ever had.

 

So this is what Items that I am bringing for our encounter:

 

1. 24 or more scented candles for the room and the bathroom. So that the room will have the right ambience and romantic feel.

2. A couple of bottles of wine for us to drink.

3. Bubble Bath so that we can both enjoy the Jacuzzi or Bathtub with lots of Bubbles so that I can bathe you from Head to Toe.

4. I will bring some romantic music for us to hear while we are together in the room.

5. I will give you a HOT OIL DEEP TISSUE BODY MASSAGE from Head to Toe.

 

So when we get to the room I will bring all my Items to setup for you. All you have to do is just sit on bed and we could have a little conversation between us so that I can make you comfortable with me. I have only one request for you. And that one request is that can you please wear either a silk or satin underwear or bra or lingerie for me? When I see a woman wearing that material it really turns me on. And I really like the feel of it against my body. It really gets me motivated.

 

So I would begin by in the bedroom. I will light the room with scented candles for you. The scented candles will gives off the right ambience in the room for a romantic atmosphere. While you are on the bed in your satin or silk underwear waiting I will be in the bathroom fixing you a nice Hot Bubble Bath in the Jacuzzi with scented candles surrounding the Jacuzzi. Then when I am finish I would ask you to get in the Jacuzzi so that I can bathe you for head to toe. There will be romantic music while were in the Jacuzzi and you can bring your drink if you like. So how do you like it so far? I have not gotten to the best part yet!!! Yes there’s more!!!

 

After we get out of the Jacuzzi and I dry you off I will ask you to lie on the bed. The reason why is because I’m going to give you a Hot Oil Deep Tissue Massage from head to toe and front and back. I am a license masseuse so I do know what I’m doing. Then I would ask you to lie on your stomach. I will start with your neck and work into your back. Nice and slow movements of your massage. Then I would go lower to your nice shapely ass and start to massage that area. Then go to your thighs and then to your feet. I will make your feet tingle. Then after massaging your feet I will make my way back to your ass with your legs spread out. Then I will start to massage your back inner thighs and your ass and pussy.

 

Then I would ask you to turn over on your back. Then I will start to massage your chest. After the massaging of your breast then I will make my way down towards your stomach and then to your hot and

pink juicy pussy but not yet. I will massage your inner thighs and then down to your ankles and toes. Then after your toes, after they have been massage then I will make my way up to your pussy. And when I get to your hot throbbing pussy my hot tongue will eat and suck you nice and slow so that I would make your thighs quiver.

 

This is also my specialty. I LOVE TO EAT PUSSY. I am going to make your pussy and ass so wet. And when you are just about to cum, I would hold back because you are not ready. But when you do cum I WILL MAKE YOU CUM SEVERALTIMES!!! When was the last time you had multiple orgasms? I know all of the erogenous zones of the female body and I will make sure that I will hit every last one of them. Then you are going to be begging for my big cock to fill your hot and wet pussy.

 

So are you ready to experience an evening in which your 5 senses will take you to total ecstasy???

Believe me this experience is all for you!!!

You will be treated like a queen!!!

And all of my attention will be focus on you!!!

I AM HERE TO PLEASE YOU NOT ME!!!

I TRULY LOVE WHAT I DO!!!

I AM THE BEST OF WHAT I DO!!!

AND THIS IS FOR REAL!!!

YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

I PROMISE YOU!!!

SO IF YOU DO WANT AND EVENING OF PAMPERING & SPOILING YOU CAN TEXT ME @ 609[REDACTED]!!!

I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL!!!

 

Sincerely,

 

 A MAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN!!!

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