Princess MoMo

I recently joined Match.com on a week trial basis.  I decided that I wouldn’t put up my usual sarcasm laden profile.  So I started out with my bit about “Me, Inc.”  However, less than 24 hours later, I had to add some MoMo-ism in the mix.  Below is the content of my temporary Match profile and the message exchange between me and the first specimen I initiated contact with on Match.

Me, Inc. was established in October of 1984 and has been going strong for the past 26 years. The CEO is a young sarcastic professional. She delivers her cynicism in a charming way and is fun, random, entertaining, and playful. Me, Inc. is looking to start a joint venture with a sincere someone possessing a high level of confidence. Unfortunately, after conducting countless interviews, and even temporarily employing a few, the CEO has come to terms with the fact that nobody is perfect; however, as close to perfect as possible will suffice. Please be intellectually and visually stimulating, ambitious, and in good financial standing.

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After perusing some of the profiles on here, I'm noticing some trends.  First and foremost, a large percentage of you describe yourselves as "laid back."  Given that almost every profile I've seen includes that in the description, it is not a distinguishing trait.  Next, many of you preface your profile with statements like, "I don't like writing about myself," or "I'm not good at describing myself."   Shouldn't you be in the best position to describe yourself?  And if you don't want to describe yourself, what do you think online daters should use to base their judgments about you as a potential mate? Just your pictures, location, and whatever other basic information Match requires? Our profiles on here allow us to express our personalities.  Finally, it is odd that many people feel the need to disclaim their use of online dating with statements like, "I never thought I'd do this, but…" or "I have no problem meeting women, but my friend suggested I try this."  Let's be serious, if you had no problem meeting women that fit the criteria you desire, you would not be on here, despite your supposed friend's insistence.  Plus, the people reading your profile are in the same online dating boat as you!!  So why do you feel the need to rationalize your use of the site?  We get it.  It's slim pickings out there and online dating expands your options by allowing you to pre-screen those of the opposite gender in a more efficient way.  That's all for now.  If you're interested in more of my ranting, drop me a line. :)

Princess MoMo:

Hello-

I just joined this site and you're the first person I'm messaging! Doesn't that make you feel special? :) I read your profile and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, as well as a decent moral compass. I'm guessing my info. is still pending the approval of the gods. Once it's available for your review, reply if you're interested. If not, best of luck on here!

Specimen:

Hello!

Thanks for the email, did I mention I'm only on here cause a friend insisted that I join?? ;-)

Your profile is a good read and I agree with it! People are funny they way they try to act too cool to be online dating but just like you said; prescreening! I myself never learned the aspect of flirting and work weird hours so match.com works for me! ( though no match yet it still gets me out there) :-)

So your a laywer I presume? Where do you practice?

If I had the patience for school work I think I could have been a pretty good defense attorney. :-)

So I'm curious was your email a copy and paste or legit custom type specifically for muah? lol

Mike

Princess MoMo:

I don't send form letter/boilerplate messages. :)

Yes, I'm an attorney.

Specimen:

I had the feeling it was genuine, forgive me for asking. Suppose I've never had a first email that said anything more than "hey how are ya?". Cheers to you then for being different! :-)

My good friend and sister are lawyers and write similarly, so I figured you were. Very rare to see a pretty, smart, and single one who lives seemingly close by…

I bet your an above board honest lawyer like real estate, corporate, or wills and stay away from personal injury and divorce, am I right?

Princess MoMo:

Commercial litigation.

I have to be honest with you: In addition to being a lawyer, I'm a grammar nazi. Seeing your and you're confused gives me the chills. I realize that sounds petty to some, but that is the reality in which I live.

Specimen:

I'm well aware of the proper use of your, you're, their, they're, there and I have never once confused the usage of any. I do however believe that math is more important than proper grammar. Math dictates that spending the additional seconds (or tenths of seconds) of my life to think about such petty things is clearly not worth the time as I am fully confident in my ability to spell and use grammar properly. Also taking into account my hourly worth….

So my misspellings should signify to you that I am a superior being when I write you an email and you should be blessed that I neglected to proofread previous emails prior to sending. ;-)

Henceforth let it be known that both parties acknowledge your socialistic tendencies and shall put forth a diligent effort to proofread future correspondence should such correspondence with above named lawyer continue.

Guess my profession…

Princess MoMo:

The following statement is a joke, right? "I'm well aware of the proper use of your, you're, their, they're, there and I have never once confused the usage of any."

Specimen:

Nope. Should I use them all in a sentence? Will I be graded?

Princess MoMo:

What if I told you that you confused your/you're in two out of the first two of the messages you sent me?

Specimen:

Ok so the definition of confused.

Confused – definition of confused by the Free Online Dictionary…

www.thefreedictionary.com/confused – Cached Similar

Being unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence. 2 . a. Lacking logical order or sense.

Now what I am saying is that I was not "confused" when I misspelled your/you're. I simply do not care enough to take the time to use proper grammar on occasion. So I was not "confused- lacking sense." You could however say that I was lazy and failed to use "your" properly which would be accurate.

Stating that I was "confused" is rather insulting and inaccurate. I do not lack sense or intelligence and it is demeaning to make that insinuation unless you know for a fact that my grammer is poor.

For instance if you tie your shoe in the morning and it comes untied during the day does that mean you lacked sense while tying (confused) or that you simply failed to put forth the proper effort in performing such a menial task?

Specimen: Grammar* in case I'm still being graded.

Princess MoMo:

So are you saying that you weren't unable to think with clarity, but you were unwilling? I don't know if that's better or worse. Also note that I gave you a pass the first time, not to mention your French misspelling. The second time got under my skin and I tried to be as polite as I possibly can (which granted, may still be a bit more abrasive than most). My intention wasn't, and isn't, to offend you. I like your use of an analogy.

Princess MoMo:

Are you trying to distract me from my focus on grammar through the use of a topless shirt Mr.?

Specimen:

I'm happier with the being known as "unwilling" to use proper grammar versus "unable" to use proper grammar. I'd rather be known as a rebel than incompetent. :-)

Speaking of grammar you used "can" which should have been "could" because it was used to describe a past tense instead of the present, I pick up on those things all the time but never mention them. ;)

"The second time got under my skin and I tried to be as polite as I possibly can"

In the dating world of match.com I am just satisfied if a woman can form a sentence haha.

I hope the shirtless picture was distracting! All of your 25 pictures are quite distracting…

I'm still interested in your guess at my profession and also where do you think I went to school?? I will personally hand deliver thousands of dollars to you in Flemington if you’re correct. :-P

Princess MoMo:

I'm not much into guessing games, but I will humor you at a later time – likely this evening, when my mind can appropriately focus.

I like that you picked up on, and noted, the 'can' vs. 'could.' But, I intended to use 'can' after considering 'could.' The state of my ability to be polite was no different in the past than in the present.

Specimen:

I think the context was in the past tense because the word "tried" which was used before "can."

"I can try to fix that broken light"

"I tried to fix it but couldn't"

Interesting debate, wish I knew an English major to make a ruling for us. I await your guess this evening. :-)