I think you’ve been commanding this website frequently lately.
Princess MoMo: I recently downloaded the app, hence, more frequent use. It seems to sign me in or keep me signed in when I receive a new message. The app isn’t very good at counting though.
Mr. Car: And why would the app need to count?
Princess MoMo: When I receive messages, the pof icon pops up in my notification tray and says, “You have 0 new messages.” In fact, there are greater than 0, otherwise the notification wouldn’t be triggered.
Mr. Car: I see. You should write in to POF and tell them about this little glitch. You’re up kind of late.
Princess MoMo: I will pass on writing to pof. It’s not that important to me. I was sleeping for several hours and then woke up for a bit. Are you just getting in?
Mr. Car: I got in around 11. I’m just browsing the good ol Internet. Getting sucked into such fascinating things like this website and talking to you :-) I find it interesting that such a person with their own comedy blog lives just over in Flemington. Makes me wonder if you’ve ever eaten at the Panera or what other places you might frequent as I do. For example…. Walmart, haha, who doesn’t frequent that shit?
Princess MoMo: Wonder no more! I have not been to Panera. Where is it? As for the land of the lost (i.e., Walmart), you hit the nail on the head with that one. I sometimes purchase hair products and dog food there. I want to move. This area is so boring. Where are you located?
Mr. Car: What? How can you live in Flemington and not know where the Panera is? Anyways, I live about 10 miles north in Clinton / Clinton Township. I completely share your pain of living in this area. I don’t think I can last much longer here so the plan is to move east within the next year.
So I think I might actually be scared of continuing this conversation. I read some of your blog posts and you are a straight-up man eater. Haha, a man eating machine that spits out all over that website. In fact, I feel like I’m being victimized right now, but maybe there’s a chance I can be spared.
Princess MoMo: You’re a victim of good fortune…the good fortune being that, so far, you do not appear to be mentally deficient. If/when you prove otherwise, you may end up on the blog. Or, as a result of your positive performance, you may get a piece of cyber real estate on my site. If you’re too scared to proceed, I bid you the best of luck and goodbye. Further, should you choose not to continue, I hope the testicle fairy pays you a visit and leaves you a set. :-)
Mr. Car: Well it just so happens that my testicles are not only present and healthy but also big enough to take on this challenge. I checked with them this morning and they are also fully confident that my mental ability can back them up.
Oh and since you’re quite the comedian and we were on the subject before I just remembered this website… check out peopleofwalmart.com if you haven’t already.
Princess MoMo: I’m glad to learn that sack inspection went well. Shrinking testicles seems to be a growing epidemic among your gender these days.
I have seen that site before, but thank you for sharing. It is a solid website.
Why do you live in Clinton?
Mr. Car: I’m only here because I haven’t left yet. Various circumstances have led me to hang around a bit longer than I would have expected. You?
Princess MoMo: I moved home after law school because I have multiple chihuahuas that I refuse to cram into an apartment. So, now I’ve saved up some money and am looking into buying a house for me and my precious little dogs.
Mr. Car: Ahh what a loving mother you are. Good call on the house buy. I’m against renting too but I have a feeling I will be because I don’t think there will be much opportunity to buy where I want to go.
So MoMo, when do you get comfortable enough to swap numbers so we can take this out of cyberspace? Maybe we can get together for lunch or something at that mystery Panera in Flemington.
Too soon? You tell me… you’re the expert online dater :-)
Princess MoMo: You haven’t even told me your name yet. Do you realize that?
My number is 908REDACTED. Please don’t take that as an invitation to endlessly text me. If you would like to hear the melodious sound of my harmonic voice, I’ll gladly oblige to a telephone conversation.
As for this beloved Panera of yours, I had a feeling I knew where it was and I just confirmed with my mother. It’s in that little strip mall between Burlington and Kohl’s!
Mr. Car: Haha, no I didn’t realize. It’s [Mr. Car] and my number is 908REDACTED. I’m going to guess you are Monica or Monika? And don’t worry about the endless texts, I have other things to do too you know. Do I have to pay a retainer before that phone call? :-)
Princess MoMo: Well hello, [Mr. Car]. Your first guess is correct – Monica. No, I won’t charge you a retainer. We’ll do this strictly on a contingency fee basis.
————————————————————————————————————————–
Princess MoMo and Mr. Car spoke on the phone that afternoon (9/3/11). About halfway into the conversation, Mr. Car revealed that he and Princess MoMo had corresponded briefly in 2009. Princess MoMo had very little, if any, recollection of the 2009 correspondence. That night, the two met at the local T.G.I. Friday’s that, sadly, is the most happening venue in suburbia bumblefuck. The most notable fact about this meeting is that Princess MoMo showed up with a black eye, sustained as a result of sibling rivalry. Mr. Car was not frightened or disgusted by Princess MoMo’s temporarily defective face. Also worth noting, Friday’s had renovated since P-Mo’s last visit. It now houses several pool tables, some arcade games and a lounge. Conversation went well with Mr. Car. P-Mo didn’t perceive him as a stranger. The two did not see each other again until two weeks later (9/17), but Mr. Car maintained the appropriate level of communication (which is no easy task).
You must be logged in to post a comment.