Princess MoMo

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Your “likes” and comments are REQUIRED.  Failure to do so will result in years of disenchantment and may cause an increase in heart rate, palpitations, sweating, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing, pallor, dizziness, weakness, shakiness, headache, apprehension, nervousness, anxiety and, in rare cases, death.  Thanks.

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I posted a status message during lunch today that read, “Omg! The cafeteria guy just asked if I am pregnant. Geez. I AM HORRIFIED!” This elicited several responses. In reply to some of those responses, I commented, “Perhaps he thinks that this healthier eating is attributable to a growing spawn within me?”

I then noticed a notification on my inbox pop up. The message sender was a facebook random who had friended me on January 29, 2012. Prior to this exchange, we had never communicated. Below is the exchange and my analysis.

Mr. Propositioner: “Growing Spawn Within you?” WOW thats deep. Thanks for the thought..

Princess MoMo: I assure you and everyone else in the world that there is no mini-momo in the making as of now!

Mr. Propositioner: How can we change that/
?
lol
We should discuss your options

Princess MoMo: Are you propositioning me?

Mr. Propositioner: I think i am
Lets call it Proposition 19
Are you available?

Princess MoMo: Ok. So this is the part where I provide reasons why such a union is infeasible and undesirable.
1. I don’t live in the DC area anymore.
2. It looks like you have a spawn of your own. I’m not into that.
I don’t know who you are, but I’m fairly certain that the better I get to know you, the more reasons against hooking up with you I can come up with.

:)

Mr. Propositioner: yikes
Unfortunatley you couldnt be further from the truth

Princess MoMo: I threw a smilely face in there for good measure!

Mr. Propositioner: but i’ll let you think your right so you can continue having a glorious day

Princess MoMo: you’re*

Mr. Propositioner: Godspeed mrs. MOMO

Princess MoMo: Am I wrong on point #2?
ms.*
It’s important that you let me know whether my assessment of point 2 (which concluded that you are a father) is correct so that I can better tailor my deductive reasoning skills for future specimen investigations.

Mr. Propositioner: “youre BUggin” I’m so Not interested in assisting you with your Sociological Experiment after you insult me and my intelligence
not cute

Princess MoMo: I did not insult your intelligence.

Mr. Propositioner: but you definitely insulted me

Princess MoMo: How so?

Mr. Propositioner: and that shit is not cute

Princess MoMo: My sandbox is not a great venue for the easily offended.

Mr. Propositioner: I dont need to tell you. Even though you have a name like MO MO you are a very smart young lady . you know exactly what you did
You mean you sandbox is not a great Venue for people who are a smart as you and know when your taking cheap shots

Princess MoMo: Listen, if you send a random person a message propositioning him/her on facebook, you should be prepared to be met with rejection.
you’re*
If you don’t like that possibility, then avoid sending the messages.

Mr. Propositioner: very true

Princess MoMo: Now you’re making me regret throwing that smilely face in there!!!

Mr. Propositioner: lol
Take it back then

Princess MoMo: Wasted emoticon…
Once an emoticon is released into cyberspace, it cannot be retracted.

Mr. Propositioner: Well then i’d think twice about Giving away those all important Emotions then mami
GOOD DAY momo

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Analysis: My top notch investigation skills (which involved looking at the photos on his facebook page) uncovered that he is indeed a father. Notice how he dodges that question in the messages above. Next, like I wrote to him, if you randomly start spitting game to a female, you should expect at least a slight (and more depending on how much you suck) chance of rejection. Finally, he got all bent out of shape about the grammar nazi corrections. Get the fuck over it. If you don’t like having your grammar corrected, then master basic English words.

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