Some time ago, I posted an entry about an online dating specimen that I did not detest. As you might expect, my instincts were correct. I provided the specimen with the number to my device and he subsequently made text contact. Below are some of the introductory texts exchanged as well as a brief summary of the in person encounter, otherwise known as a date.
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Introductory Text Exchange:
Guy: What are you up to tomorrow night?
Princess: Please restate the question in a way that more clearly manifests your underlying intentions in asking.
Guy: If it pleases the court, I am inquiring to see if your schedule would allow a semi late dinner and/or drinks tomorrow evening.
Princess: Late notice, but I can accommodate your request.
Guy: Well if the proposed dinner/drinks, hereby referred to as a “date” will be a burden, I will reluctantly reconsider the motion….I promise that’s my last corny amateur legalese attempt
Guy: I won’t pretend to know anywhere decent in jersey to go
Princess: I will need to conduct a phone interview in advance of said “date”
Guy: I’m surprised you didn’t call it a deposition
Princess: Should I order a court reporter?
Guy: It’s up to you, I’ll just assume I’m being recorded
Princess: Only one party’s consent is necessary to record in nj
Princess: Your thoughts on beer pong?
Guy: Haven’t played in 7 years, enjoyed the game at one time, but it’s pretty disgusting
Princess: Disgusting?
Guy: Ball misses, ball hits floor, ball is dunked in nasty water cup, ball is shot into beer cup thus depositing the floor into cup. I know it can be played with water in the cups, but it’s not the same
Princess: Builds up the immune system
Princess: Also, the sanitary solution is to not miss the cups
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After some discussion about whether to break bread in PA or NJ, Princess MoMo and this specimen agreed on PA. Crossing state lines, especially into a Commonwealth, is a BIGGGG concession on the part of Princess MoMo and the specimen was more than willing to travel to the Garden State, but MoMo wanted a change of pace.
This specimen’s choice of venue was commendable. The date took place at a brewery/restaurant. I opted for the beer tasting. See picture below.
Déjà vu. (The previous week, a distinct specimen had selected a different location of the same brewery. Coincidence or unoriginality?)
Dinner conversation was fine, as it generally is on these dates, because Princess MoMo often has a lot to say. At the conclusion of the date, Princess MoMo allowed the specimen to redeem himself by once again inviting him to partake in the sport of beer pong. He accepted her offer. He stated concern over the fact that he had no balls (beer pong balls you sickos). Luckily, there are certain things Princess MoMo does not cross state lines without. She assured him that she had a set of balls in her MoMo-mobile.
When MoMo was ready to leave his house, she hugged the specimen, and said, “Nice meeting you” and then as the specimen characterized it, “ran out of the house” leaving him thinking that he’d never hear from her again. Shortly thereafter, MoMo texted him that she had forgotten her balls at his place, but that it was okay because he needed a set.
The day of the date and the day following this date, MoMo wasn’t particularly interested in this specimen. There was no obvious chemistry between them and he wasn’t noticeably amusing. However, that all changed one day later.
To Be Continued…
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