Princess MoMo

The status messages preceding the conversation with  Century Link:

April 13, 2011

8:43 am: Waiting out with bated breath from 8-1 on the Century Link wizards to resolve the technology issues at my residence. If I don’t post again before 1, I’ve suffocated.

10:19 am: The time is now 10:19 a.m. Do you know where your Century Link service representative is?

11:58 am: I officially just lost my shit on Century Link (phone service provider) customer service. Enraged. Actually, the parenthetical could have read “phone non-service provider.” BTW, the Century Link call started with a rep saying, “Ok, I’ll transfer you to that department and see what they CAN’T figure out.” Apparently, a lot.

12:03 pm: What the fuck is an 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. wait time?

12:18 pm: Blood pressure rising. Deep breaths. Wooo-saahhh

12:22 pm: Century Link douche supervisor, “Are you going to be leaving anytime soon?” Me: “Well I would like to go to work today.” wtf?! As if I want to sit hostage in my house all day while some jackass takes his time showing up during some ten hour time frame.

2:54 pm: I was going to go run an errand (ship the injurious Dell computer to Product Safety), but then I remembered that I’m still waiting for Century Link to show up….Wow, thanks for the trash.

3:52 pm: One hour and eight minutes left until I verbally castrate Century Link’s unfortunate employee who has the misfortune of answering that call.

4:07 pm: Listening to some Mortal Kombat techno mix to prep for my epic battle with Century Link.

4:26 pm: Well, I might as well place the call now because by the time these Century Link incompetents are done inconveniencing me with hold time, it will be 5 p.m. and I will be fully justified in my savage berating of their (non)service after having me wait for nine fucking hours.

6:36 pm: Enough. I am no longer waiting for Century Link. My head is about to explode. Off to the date. Compared to Century Link, this guy can’t possibly suck as bad.

7:10 pm: If good things come to those who wait for them, I’m expecting mind blowingly exceptional things. Now waiting out on this guy because I forgot to text him back confirming the time.

April 14, 2010 (A DAY AFTER THE SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT, which appointment was originally scheduled in a 5 hour window, then extended to a 9 hour window, and then to an 11 hour window….apparently 11 hours just wasn’t enough time for Century Link to have its tech show up)

2:40 pm: Text from my mother: The Century Link guy just got there now, just 28 hours late!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:53 pm My text response: Call those motherfuckers and tell them this is unacceptable.