Background: Mr. T and I were having a conversation on Facebook the other day. At some point (where the excerpt below starts), the conversation went off of the deep end. I learned that in addition to having a guitar, he has a skateboard. After Mr. Plane, I wanted a guy with a unique vehicle. A skateboard is not what I had in mind. Mr. T became defensive. Then, toward the end of that conversation, I noticed that one of my friends had posted a picture on my Facebook wall. Mr. T started commenting about American beer on my friend’s post. This shit made no sense. My inclination was that he engaged in this nonsense because the guy who posted the picture has his profession listed as “Quality Control Specialist at Budweiser.” Mr. T hates Bud because, as he explained to me on date one, it’s made of rice and beer shouldn’t be made of rice. What-the-fuck-ever. Between the inbox conversation and his commenting frenzy, I pretty much completely lost interest. But, I couldn’t cut things off because I was waiting for his write up of our first date. Once I got the post, we exchanged texts (documented at the end of the post linked here) and talked on the phone. I told him of my annoyance with the ridiculous bullshit pasted below. We ended the conversation and it seemed like we were done. But, after we hung up, I immediately texted him asking about his weight (because I was blogging about him and needed that information). He responded with his weight and I thanked him. He replied, “Easy question. No need for thanks. Night Princess.” I didn’t like that he was still being so nice. Here’s the rest of the text exchange:
MoMo: Now I feel bad
Mr. T: Pardon? Why would you feel bad?
MoMo: I don’t know. Questioning whether it was premature.
Mr. T: Dont feel bad. I’m the American hating socialist. (insert wink)
MoMo: It would be easier if you weren’t being nice about it
Mr. T: Last time i tried to be an asshole to you it did not work and you lost anyway.
MoMo: :(
Mr. T: Come snuggle up close to me and we can discuss your feelings. I do not want a frowning Princess
MoMo: :/
Mr. T: Ha. Slight improvement.
Ok…now without further ado, below are the excerpts I referred to above:
(10/31/11)
Mr. T: No gym. But I’m more active than anyone I know. I dont stop running around, skateboarding, and I walk like a mile every day.
Princess MoMo: skateboarding?
geez
what else?
Mr. T: Yeah, I know. I should start acting really old and burn my guitar too.
Princess MoMo: I agree.
i’m scared
alright, i have to ask…
would you categorize yourself as a hipster?
Mr. T: Scared of what? That you have to admit something so awful on your blog.” I dated a guy who still skateboards”.
Plenty of lawyers & finance guys in the sea. What is stopping you from just getting one of those cookie-cutter products and calling it a day?
In response to your question I have a question: Have you ever met a hipster?
Princess MoMo: I’m not interested in lawyers. However, I do like finance guys. I haven’t found a suitable one of those “products” yet, though.
No answering questions with questions.
Mr. T: Seriously. Cant throw a rock around here without hitting some tool box with another BMW and no capacity for original thought. That tool-box will invariably be a lawyer or finance douche.
None of them will ruin the perception of your friends with an appreciation for analog music or skateboards/snowboards. (not true, some robots do snowboard)
Hipsters, oddly enough, are subject to the same cookie-cutter issues faced by the tool-boxes on the other side of the no-originality coin. Their sheep-like obedience to anything dirt and polyester is not an affliction I share.
So if you think I’m a hipster we’ll have to go ahead and call it a day. Though at least you did not confuse me with the typical corporate law/finance type. That would have garnered no response whatsoever.
Princess MoMo: relax over there.
you’ve made your disdain for lawyers clear from the get-go and i’m not getting all up in arms about it…and i actually am a lawyer, whereas you’re arguably not a hipster
you’re worse than me with wanting to “call it a day”
i’m usually the dismissive one
the truth is, i will never be a fan of your guitar activities and probably not of the skateboard either
but, as long as i don’t have to be involved in them, i don’t care what you do
i’m sure i have habits that you want no part in
and that’s fine too
remember, the attraction here is primal, not social
frankly, i think primal is stronger
harder to fight off nature
Mr. T: Yes, I find it odd that someone taking an interest in the art of music enough to actually learn an instrument is less attractive than someone who fist-pumps to auto-tune.
Princess MoMo: So what?
it doesn’t stop me from being attracted to you
Mr. T: It is literally sad. I happen to know that music participation and interest is not at all what it used to be. Kids dont learn anything outside top 40. Probably has a lot to do with how much (commercially viable) music is growing evermore the same. Everything is pop. No more rap. No more country. Everything is pop. Moreover, people are less and less able to appreciate anything that does not fall within the confines of that ever shrinking box. I find that heartbreaking. Music is one of my favorite artistic mediums. This is like the dark-ages for the art-form. Bums me out.
Princess MoMo: Alright, well, let me know when you’re done crying about it.
I don’t think your guitar defines you. If you feel otherwise, then maybe we have an issue.
Mr. T: Would be like everybody preferring the same smiley-face off a printing press instead of having different artists with different styles.
Princess MoMo: This is part of the reasons guitars are unappealing
Players of them tend to be all artsy/music-y/hippie-ish…all traits I find unappealing
So, basically the guitar is a symbol of all of those traits
I’m not into all of that mother earth/love everyone and everything bit
I don’t want to sit around a campfire singing Kumbaya
Mr. T: Yeah, since that is the box you put everyone in before you talk to them about it. That is what you get. Same opinion. No greater understanding. Fist pumping. Had you discussed music with me prior to all the judgement you may have felt differently.
Princess MoMo: What are you talking about?
Mr. T: But, I’m EXACTLY like the others who play guitar. So no need to learn anything about me or music. Just call me a hippie.
Princess MoMo: Have I not been communicating with you very frequently since we hung out?
Did I not see your guitar during the first hang out?
Yeah, I feel a certain way about guitars, but it’s not like I categorized you and then said, “Fuck this hippie, I’m not interested in getting to know him.”
And, I don’t think I’ve treated you any differently than non-guitar playing specimens
In fact, I’ve been markedly nicer to you than I am to most
And, in fucking fact, I even showed an interest in your guitar playing by asking to see a video, which I watched.
If, despite all of that, you feel I put you in a box, then perhaps the box should be returned to sender.
Mr. T: I assume you wanted to see where it registered on the scale of things you’d never want to do again.
Princess MoMo: Ok
I’m not going to try any further to prove my interest in you.
If it hasn’t been obvious, there isn’t much more I can do.
Mr. T: I’m not talking about you being interested in me. I’m pointing out that all your guitar preconceptions are just that preconceptions. You assign them universally. This creates a situation where you feel they have been proven when I become preachy about art and music. The rub is that I only got preachy because you entered the conversation with prejudice against people who get preachy by preaching.
Princess MoMo: Are your lawyer preconceptions firm truths?
I find this conversation annoying.
I do not wish to continue it.
So, if you have a topic other than guitars, skateboards or beer that you would like to discuss, I’ll be more than happy to do so.
Mr. T: A final word on the subject
I’ve yet to hear this joke: “How can you tell if a musician is lying?…….. Their lips are moving!” Why is that?
I told you there are exceptions. Some lawyers provide services.
It’s the ones who are locked in their large-law sweatshops for 100 hours a week cranking out small print are the lowest form of humanity.
Not the guy who helps you fight a ticket, buy a house, or start a business. Those counselors are worth having around.
Princess MoMo: Ok. Are you done now?
Mr. T: Oh yeah.
Princess MoMo: What is this garbage about beer that you’re spewing all over my wall?
Mr. T: Showing some love for the US of motherfucking A!
Princess MoMo: Really?
—————————————————————————————-
This is the picture that my friend posted on my wall and below are the comments that followed.
Mr. T: Buy American Beer:
https://www.facebook.com/SamuelAdams
Cyber BFF: what’s Sam Adams have to do with OWS? (other than I’d have to drink a whole lot of them before I could stomach hanging out there)
Mr. T: Seems like supporting American brands is good for all of us.
So once again. Support brewers in the USA:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/DG-Yuengling-Son-Inc/118978030069
Cyber BFF: Is that one of the action items for OWS?
Princess MoMo: Don’t mind this nonsense about beer. Support this: http://www.greygoose.com/
Mr. T: Big US brewers like Coors use rice to make their crappy beers.
Real beer is made with Barley & Hops, not rice:
https://www.facebook.com/sierranevadabeer
Mr. T: Anheuser Busch is a foreign owned corporation, buy Good Beer, buy beer made by US owned corporations:
https://www.facebook.com/LagunitasBrewingCo
Princess MoMo: Who the fuck cares?
Cyber BFF: Me thinks that Mr. T is receiveing pay-per-click $’s for his postings.. or he is just a champion of non sequiturs.
Mr. T: A lot of people care. Considered by many to be the best brewery in the United States of America:
https://www.facebook.com/dogfishheadbeer
Mr T: Another, slightly more exotic offering. Also US owned:
https://www.facebook.com/StoneBrewingCo
Cyber BFF: no doubt there is a HUGE following for supporting American Barley & Hops, especially by those who have (obviously) spent a good portion of their Monday imbibing… I am just failing to see the relevance to the original posting. That must be the lawyer in me, insiting on relevance…
Princess MoMo: Evil lawyer!!!
Cyber BFF: passive aggressive posting on a third party’s page? fun
Mr. T: I did not mean to take away from the original post. Just to say that buying US is a win/win whether you are a fan of Lloyd Blankfein or a fan of Al Gore. Buy American.
Cyber BFF: Since posting random American breweries is the trend here, I should give a shout out to my cousin http://www.healdsburgbeerco.com/Healdsburg_Beer_Company/The_Brewery.html
Cyber BFF: an un-provoked expression. non sequitur @ its finest
Cyber BFF: Support the troops
Mr. T: Support the troops. Buy American made beer.
Cyber BFF: and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka_martini
Vodka martini – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org
Mr. T: Raising the stakes! But I prefer a Martini :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martini_(cocktail)
Cyber BFF: the main problem with gin? it is not vodka. (and it tastes like flowers)
Mr. T: And the problem with both is that neither is a major domestically produced spirit. Better off buying American beer:
https://www.facebook.com/anchorbrewing
Mr. T: And supporting the troops while never forgetting.
Cyber BFF: We should only be supporting a spirit if it is a “major” domestically produced product? How unAmerican is that? http://www.brooklynrepublicvodka.com/index.php
Home Brooklyn Republic
www.brooklynrepublicvodka.com·
Mr. T: Right, poor choice of words. Major should be second to local. Both should be ahead of foreign corporations like Anheuser Busch. Representing Fairfield NJ:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cricket-Hill-Brewery/104035162887
Cyber BFF: let’s follow the spirit of Mr. T’s logic. If it is not a major domestic producer, it is less legitimate to support? So, forget about your local famer, folks, buy Montsanto.
Mr. T: Really? Is that what I said?
You’d make a good lawyer.
Mr. T: Fuck monsanto:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Future-of-Food/455711770056
Cyber BFF: the clarification highlights your beer soapbox. You’d make a good lobbyist
Mr. T: http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2008/07/15/pbr_is_now_americas_beersort_of
I’d make a terrible lobbyist. Simply by choosing the local merchants I’d be on the losing team. That is not a good lobbyist. A good lobbyist works on behalf on Monsanto without conscience, compassion, or humanity in their soul(less) endeavor to deregulate corporate farming.
Buy American (outside of Monsanto, of course)
Cyber BFF: PBR = Americas Beer
Cyber BFF: A good lobbyist knows how to stay on message, regardless of how flawed their logic is. Your random beer tirade is evidence of your ability to do that, with complete abandon.
Mr. T: No, a good lobbyist is the one who represents the deepest pockets and has no soul to speak of. I’m a beer nut. I like beer. And I love the USA. Not at all the same qualifications.
I’ll leave the lobbying to the people in the lobby. I assume that is where most of the action is.
Cyber BFF: Spoken like someone who hasn’t spent a lot of time in DC. “No soul” is not a qualification. Arguing an activist position without regard for its logic is. Deep pockets are (part of) the fuel, not a requirement.
Mr. T: Deep pockets are the only thing that matter if I’m selling my soul.
Which I’m not.
Drink American:
http://www.drinkamerican.us/faq/59-who-owns-what-beers.html
Cyber BFF: and, I still think Brian Thomas has a pretty kick ass job
Mr. T: Oh, for sure. No need to defend Budweiser, King of Beers.
There is a particular audience for that product. They deserve good foreign brand beer with rice in it as much as I deserve good American beer made with barley and hops. Truly, they deserve it.
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Your “likes” and comments are encouraged and appreciated. Thanks.
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Related Posts:
MoMoLand Welcomes a New Character: Mr. T
Guest Submission: Mr. T Write about “Meeting MoMo”
Mr. T’s Rendition of Our First Date
You must be logged in to post a comment.