Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 3 Mr. Riddles: I think you dish it, but you certainly can’t take it. I don’t need your floaties. I can swim just fine, thank you. (2 days later) Mr. Riddles: Did I really […]
Online Dating: Mr. Disqualified
Mr. Disqualified: Subject: Caveat Emptor no longer exists! [Editor’s Note: “Caveat Emptor is the headline on my dating profile.] Hello Esquire! Before I proceed here are the answers to your questions: 1.) You’re (You are) 2.) There’s (There is) 3.) Than 4.) Here Also, lawyers should not be using contractions when they write or type. […]
Date Dissection 11/9: Mother Fucking Joe
Last night I met with a character who surfaced on this blog shortly after its inception in mid-April of this year. His name: Mother Fucking Joe. Since he first messaged me in April, Mother Fucking Joe and I have been in periodic contact via the dating site, facebook and through our devices. We […]
Flashing Light in the MoMo-mobile
Every so often, an indicator light that I’ve never seen before will flash up on the MoMo-mobile dashboard. More often than not, this annoys me because the lights are usually telling of a problem. Today, one of those indicators presented itself. I happened to be chatting with a male on my device. I […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Racist
Mr. Racist: What type of perfect man is interested in a non Caucasian female anyway? Did you ever consider changing your race to attract men? If you are not of Northern, or Western European descent, how can you expect a successful man to be attracted to you. Your ancestors clearly came from a third world […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles Part 3
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Mr. Riddles: Emily Blunt, Let’s get something straight: I said from the beginning that I only messaged you to prove that all guys aren’t idiots. Also, my claims are not unsubstantiated because I failed to answer your futile attempt at weeding […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles Part 2
For this post to make optimal sense, read Part 1 first. Mr. Riddles Quizmaster, I admit, I am not happy with myself for getting that answer wrong, however, I did correctly state the order of operations… I just didn’t listen to myself. I hate to admit that you impressed me in anyway. Therefore, I […]
Online Dating: Mr. Riddles
Mr. Riddes: 1. You’re… because you are using the contraction for you are… not your as in possessing the thought of you being nuts? … that wouldn’t make sense although it is comical. 2. There’s … again contraction for ‘there is’ because… there is a method to your madness even though I haven’t figured it […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Moonlight
Mr. Moonlight: Hi my name is Paul I saw your profile and really liked it. I am 38 year old who is family oriented, educated, and fun to be around. I have Blondish hair blue eyes 5ft10 clean cut attorney. I am charming and funny. I am seeking a lady who is down to earth, […]
Mr. T on the Rise Again? (11/2)
Recently, I thought I ended things with Mr. T. Apparently, I thought wrong. The morning after I posted Mr. T’s Rendition of Our First Date, he texted me: Mr. T: They love mr t Mr. T: You are a bad producer. You killed him off too soon. MoMo: Talk to his agent about recasting him Mr. T: Mr t […]
The Decline of Mr. T
Background: Mr. T and I were having a conversation on Facebook the other day. At some point (where the excerpt below starts), the conversation went off of the deep end. I learned that in addition to having a guitar, he has a skateboard. After Mr. Plane, I wanted a guy with a unique vehicle. A […]
Online Dating Fails: Top Douche
Top Douche: You suck. I lick.. and Wtf is up with making my messesge longer an unique? MoMo: You have made at least one false assumption in your message. Top Douche: that was yesterday.. Wtf did I say? Top Douche: ohyea.. I remember now.. you suck. I’m awesome.. go get cheated on cuz unless you date […]
Mr. T’s Rendition of Our First (and maybe last?) Date
Again, Mr. T has been so gracious as to provide his perspective on another one of our encounters: Our first date. There are several factual inaccuracies in his write up. As you might expect, I will highlight each and every one with “Editor’s Notes.” ——————————————————————————————————————————————- A few days after the charity auction I saw bunches […]