——————————————————————————————————————————————- Your “likes” and comments are REQUIRED. Failure to do so will result in years of disenchantment and may cause an increase in heart rate, palpitations, sweating, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing, pallor, dizziness, weakness, shakiness, headache, apprehension, nervousness, anxiety and, in rare cases, death. Thanks. ——————————————————————————————————————————————- I posted a status message during lunch today that read, “Omg! The […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part IV
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part III Overview: One named Brandon Singer informed me one hour and 18 minutes before a wedding that he would not be able to accompany me as my date. Why? Because he’s […]
Online Dating Fails: Astute Observation
rush_blue 2/26/2012 6:26:17 PM response request:) rush_blue 3/3/2012 1:42:34 PM are u blowing me off Analysis: Why yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing, Mr. Rush_Blue. Messaging, “response request :)” and actually expecting a response is ballsy. How about putting some thought into the message? I commend him, though, on recognizing and […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part III
Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part I Click here for I Hate Brandon Singer Part II Quick Recap: Brandon Singer agreed to be my date for a wedding, but Brandon Singer did not uphold his end of the bargain. Instead, he went out the night before the wedding, got shitfaced, potentially smashed his nose and […]
Worst Date Ever Month
There are all sorts of themed months. “Black History Month.” “March Madness.” “Whateverf Else Month.” Okay, I made that last one up. And, I’m about to make up another one. I am officially declaring April, “Worst Date Ever Month.” It’s fitting because the first day of that month is “April Fool’s Day.” Accordingly, please share […]
One Specimen, One Website, One Message x3
Just one day ago, I posted about another cut/paster. I jumped the gun with that post because less than 24 hours later, he sent the same message again. Note, there are slight punctuation differences at the end of each message. I attribute that to either faulty cut/pasting or some sort of filter on the dating […]
Another Cut/Paster
At a minimum, if you’re going to send the same message over and over and over again, make it a clever one. And, if you’re not even going to spend the time customizing messages, spell out “you.” JKro 2/1/2012 5:51:19 AM I just wanted to let u kno that u are absolutely gorgeous. I’m […]
Another Slave
It appears that if I wanted an army of specimen slave minions, I could amass the troops from any online dating website. I’m not referring to fetish/weirdo sites, either. More than I’d like to and probably more than you’d imagine, I receive requests from men who want to be dominated. I refuse to participate in […]
PMS: The Cheese Stands Alone
Background I mostly deal with the male gender. A vast majority of my friends are men. My only sibling is y-chromosomed. And, most of the humans with whom I work closely are of that persuasion as well. Throughout my experiences, I’ve discovered that men don’t understand women, particularly their mood swings. Men: You don’t […]
Online Dater Caught Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V-handed
It’s relatively easy to identify a cut and paster of messages on dating websites. And, sometimes, if there remains any doubt, after a little bit of waiting out, you may receive the same exact message more than once from the person. For those of you unfamiliar with the cyber-world love quest rituals, lazy specimens send […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part II
Not much has changed since “I Hate Brandon Singer Part I,” except that he has defriended me on facebook. Apparently, he didn’t like my entry recounting his bullshitary, nor did he like the fact that I posted a courtesy copy of said entry on his facebook wall. To quickly recap, I met Brandon Singer […]
I Hate Brandon Singer Part I
Years ago, I used to drive through Philly very often on my travels back and forth between Jersey and DC. One billboard always caught my attention. It says, “I HATE STEVEN SINGER.” Every time I saw it, I wondered what it is about. But, by the time I’d get to my destination, I’d have forgotten […]
Valentine’s Day with Mr. Lambo
Certain aspects of dating are difficult to fully convey in writing. So, I need a reality TV show. If you can help me out with that, I’d greatly appreciate it. The Mr. Lambo finale was scheduled for February 14, 2012. Who plans a break up date? Apparently, Lambo and MoMo. And, why on Valentine’s […]
Ironing the Floor
I woke up possessed by a cleaning demon. Unable to exorcise it, I began to unclutter my sleeping chambers. During that process, I laundered several articles, including clothing, my pink sheets and zebra pillow cases, my blanket and (this is where the trouble began) the two little area rugs that sit outside of my bathroom […]
Valentine’s Day with MoMo Part II (Mr. Lambo’s Version)
Click here for Valentine’s Day with MoMo Part I (Mr. Lambo’s Version) Princess walked around to my side, we interlocked arms and proceeded into Matt’s. Once inside, there was a short waiting period since we arrived prior to our reservation time. Several minutes later we were seated and Princess immediately unwrapped the bottle of wine. […]