My online dating profile garners much attention, both positive and negative. This post focuses on the motives of the naysayers. I am going to put on my pseudo-psychotherapist hat and provide my theories as to why a Headstrong Asshole That Exhibits Rudeness (“HATER” for short) would write unconstructive messages to women. Theory One: A […]
Mother Fucking Joe Plays Hard to Get
Mother Fucking Joe Follow-up On Tuesday July 19, 2011, Princess MoMo initiated contact via facebook with Mother Fucking Joe. He told her a tale about a hooker. Later that night, the two conversed on the telephone and agreed to meet on Thursday, July 21, 2011. MoMo did not hear from Mother Fucking Joe on […]
MoMo the Leprechaun
As of late, I'm starting to become suspicious of whether specimens are sending me legitimate messages or whether they're intentionally attempting to reach unparalleled levels of outrageousness bordering schizophrenia in order get a spot on the blog. If it is the former, the pharmaceutical industry will continue to thrive. If it's the latter, then […]
Online Dating: Mother Fucking Joe and his Hooker Tale
Princess MoMo and Mother Fucking Joe began corresponding in April. After their exchanges on the dating site, communication was limited to periodic facebook comments and the occasional facebook message. Over the course of their facebook friendship, MoMo recognized that Mother Fucking Joe was consistently amusing. Ergo, she decided she wanted to meet him. Below is […]
Gchats: Apparently Colorado has the best man inventory
MoMo: how are the men? Jen: men? Where? haha MoMo: haha tell me about it… Jen: I managed to hook up with my friend’s brother, the best man at his wedding which was just great I’m such a cliche haha He was really my ideal kind of guy and we emailed for a few weeks but he lives […]
Specimen Dissection June 17, 2011
On Tuesday, June 14, 2011, this specimen initiated cyber contact with Princess MoMo. That night, the two conversed on the telephone. They agreed to meet on Friday at 9 p.m. MoMo admonished him that he would have to maintain contact with her over the course of the days leading up to the […]
Online Dating: An enjoyable message exchange example
Specimen’s opening message: Subject line: The problem is no one thinks they suck Creative profile, very concise :) I think you’d be better off at a barnes & nobles than this site, but since you’re here I just wanted to say: hi lil mama, you mad fine Princess MoMo’s response: Hey big papi, I’m glad […]
Online Dating Fails: Digital Deficiency
Specimen: hi im kon u are cute tex me lets talk 215REDACTED not oin hre alot hwt nationalty are u Princess MoMo: Is there an issue with your fingers? Specimen: wht u mean sweety Evidently, including all letters in a word was too much to ask from this specimen.
Texts with a Non-Detestable Specimen
After the initial exchange and first date with the non-detestable specimen (“NDS”), Princess MoMo was apathetic until NDS once again temporarily became amusing (not for long though). NDS and MoMo had an interesting telephone conversation during which they joked about procreating to form either a mini-MoMo or NDS Jr. Subsequent to their hypothetical joint […]
Specimen Suitor Attempts to Lure me in with Princess MoMo Speak
On Saturday night, Princess MoMo discovered that her group of friends was no longer present in the bar. But more disturbing, one of said friends had absconded with her device! MoMo was alarmed. She did a scan of the bar for a specimen worthy to help her track down her missing apparatus. She approached her […]
Specimen Dissection: April 29, 2011 Date Recap
Some time ago, I posted an entry about an online dating specimen that I did not detest. As you might expect, my instincts were correct. I provided the specimen with the number to my device and he subsequently made text contact. Below are some of the introductory texts exchanged as well as a brief […]
Dating Advice from Princess MoMo’s Friend
Subject: My Opinion On MoMo-pinion Ordinarily, I am cultured enough to know that relaying the following sentiments to you would be uncouth since they strictly pertain to your life. However, since a) you have so generously (and humorously) opened up your dating vault for me to enjoy and b) you’re savvy enough to dig my musings, […]
Specimen Dissection aka date recap April 21, 2011
On April 21, 2011, I went out with a specimen that I met circa 2005 on a dating site. (I began experimenting online dating during the dial up days.) Contact was reestablished with said specimen through facebook. Recently, I decided to shut down one of my facebook profiles in favor of a new one. He […]
Late Night Gchat
12:31 AM me: Hey 12:32 AM dilip: What’s up? 12:35 AM me: I’m at josephines 12:36 AM Thought I should tell you in the event that you show up So that there is no awkward tension 12:37 AM dilip: What shuld I do then, all my frienmds are goin ther me: Come 12:38 AM I […]
Texts from this Morning…
On today’s episode of Texts from this Morning, we have a repeat offender. On March 22, 2011, this specimen with whom I went on ONE date a YEAR ago (March 2010) and had no physical contact initiated the a string of texts reprinted below. This morning, he struck again. This time, I was willing to […]