It’s 7 a.m. (Ok, it’s really 7:14 a.m. because it took you 14 minutes to get out of bed and into the bathroom to get ready for work.) So, it’s 7:14 a.m. You rub the sleep out of your eyes while reaching for your pink toothbrush. The oral kingdom needs to be cleaned! To your disappointment, […]
Mr. Percocet
Once upon a time, my oral kingdom was encumbered by metal facets wired together, commonly known as braces. That time was long ago and it was for but a short duration. After being freed from the metal binding them, the pearly white residents of my oral kingdom were in blissful alignment. I kept them in […]
The Wedding Crasher – Mr. Daywalker
On rare occasion, I cross state lines into the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. On this particular evening of November 14, 2014, I headed to the Valley Forge Casino for the night to meet a friend for a comedy show. I hastily packed before leaving. I went to step out of my bedroom with my overnight bag, […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part V (Farewell)
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part III (Sodom, Gomorrah, and Rihanna). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part IV (Let There be Light). It was my last night in Vegas. It was […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part III (Sodom, Gomorrah, and Rihanna)
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway). Vegas is a strange place. It is like the land of drinking make believe. Scraps of food and an hour of sleep a day are sufficient to support 12+ hours of Goosing and […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part II (The Getaway)
Click here for Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Vegas Pink Monkey). Was it love at first sight? No. My sight was probably pretty blurred at that point. (Actually, it wasn’t. My liver won organ of the year for its performance in Vegas that week.) Anyway, the club isn’t a place for love; it’s a place for Goose, music, […]
Mr. Hong Kong Part I (Pink Vegas Monkey)
Once upon a time (July 2, 2013), I boarded a plane to LA. A friend from Jersey (we’ll call him “Bill”) and I went to visit a friend who lives there (we’ll call him “Brian”). The following day, we three amigos drove to Vegas. The desert temperature rose to a soaring 120 degrees, but we […]
Mr. Local Engineer
The inaugural date after over a year hiatus comes to you courtesy of Tinder. Mr. Local Engineer and I matched. Below are the initial messages. After additional back and forth, we determined that we live in the same town. He asked if I wanted to meet up that night. I agreed. If you recall from […]
Mr. Pharaonically Insane – The Ice Grill
The Ancient Egyptians are rolling in their graves. I got too cocky in my dating and didn’t prescreen properly. Mr. Pharaonically Insane sent me a message with his number and I called him. We chatted for a bit and he asked if I wanted to meet up. He told me he lives in Somerset, which […]
The Fresh Princess
The dating chronicles are back. You missed me, I know. Below is the new online dating profile narrative I’ve created. In central New Jersey born and raised Practicing law is where I spend most of my days Reading, writing, arguin’ all cool And, on the side, also lecturing English at a school […]
McDonald’s Drive Thru
I love McDonald’s. In particular, I love the new Buffalo Ranch McChicken sandwich. There’s just something about buffalo sauce that delights my oral kingdom. Once upon a time (around November or December of 2013), I was driving home from the mall when the urge to order one of these delectable sandwiches struck me. Luckily, there […]
Mr. Brooklyn Part I: Great Adventure and a Game of Cards
Mr. Brooklyn and I met when we were 12-years-old and it was adolescent crush at first sight. I then never saw him in the flesh again until 16 years later. At some point between our pre-teen meeting and our damn-we’re-almost-30 meeting, we became Facebook friends. We didn’t interact much via social media. On March 1, […]
Princess MoMo’s Vampire Diary – Part III
Click here to read Princess MoMo’s Vampire Diary – Part I. Click here to read Princess MoMo’s Vampire Diary – Part II. Eventually, the sushi place was closing. He suggested we continue the date. For those of you who follow the blog, you know that this could only lead to one place: T.G.I. Friday’s. Sigh. […]
Princess MoMo’s Vampire Diary – Part II
Click here to read Princess MoMo’s Vampire Diary – Part I. Though we had exchanged 138 texts on the first day of our texting, the next day (date day), it was radio silence. Around 7 p.m., I texted him, “Still on?” He said, “Of course, I’m leaving now. I should be a few minutes early.” […]
Mr. Super Annoyer’s Messages Annotated by Princess MoMo
For the backstory, click here. Below are my notes/comments (in pink) to Mr. Super Annoyer’s messages. Have you ever wondered what a girl is thinking when she doesn’t respond to you? See below. everythingheisnt 3/31/2012 11:35:01 PM Oh my godddddd! I can’t believe I found you here! [Me neither. Apparently, I can run, but […]