Background: A friend of mine recently began online dating. She sent me the following message: “I got an interesting offer today from a specimen. We dated a few times but it never worked. He calls and wants to know how I’m doing etc. I responded with what do you want? He responds with I’m just […]
Online Dating Exchange: Mr. Doctor (or Dr. Doctor?) Part II
Click here for Mr. Doctor Part I Princess MoMo: You give up quite easily. Mr. Doctor: I definitely do. But, in my defense I figured I had failed your test and I was destined to be yet another victim on your blog subjected to sarcastic degradation. It’s perfect material – an arrogant jerk boasting of […]
Online Dating Exchange: Mr. Doctor (or Dr. Doctor?) Part I
Mr. Doctor: YOU’RE right. I do understand the THEIR is a method to YOUR madness. I don’t know any third graders, but I know I’m smarter THAN my 10 year old niece, though suddenly I’ve transformed from her awesome uncle to an “embarrassing” person – the pre-teen years suck. But, HERE I am. Did I […]
Mr. Francis the Praying Mantis
Background: I receive fairly interesting communications on a daily basis. This time, an individual I knew from middle school (and maybe high school?) sent me a facebook friend request accompanied by a message. Below is the exchange. Mr. Francis the Praying Mantis: hey u remember me? Princess MoMo: Yes. Mandy’s cousin? Mr. Francis the Praying […]
Online Dating Fails: Jersey Shore
Specimen: text or call me beautiful.570REDACTED frankie lets go out for dinner/drinks tonight// hope u like sexy tanned italian men… causae u gotta date with one tonight..lol call or text me asap ciao bella frank Analysis: Okay. This is the worst kind of guy on dating sites. You may be surprised at the pervasiveness of self-proclaimed “sexy […]
Online Dating Fails: MoMo’s Love of Children
Specimen: Libra, me too! October 6 yo! MoMo: Coincidentally, we share a birthday. However, what we don’t share is our interest in children, particularly yours. That may sound harsh, but the reality is that in the questions Match asks related to qualities I seek in a potential mate, I answered that one with kids is a deal […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Riddles Part 5
Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 1 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 2 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 3 Click here for Mr. Riddles Part 4 Mr. Riddles: I have no idea if you are being sarcastic (again… I really need to create the sarcastic font)… or if you are serious or […]
Online Dating Fails: Too many questions
Specimen: Hey, How are you doing? I read your profile and thought you sounded pretty interesting. Kind of puzzled at why you would be single honestly. So I thought I would try to get to know more about you. I guess to do so I am going to have to start off with a few […]
Online Dating: “Real” Me
Specimen: Hey..couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are, and I’m kind of a lover for those eyes :P I feel that your profile’s just a tease and so the real you.. , blows my mind a cutie like u needs this site to begin with lol…but if you are interested, I’d love to chat. […]
Guest Submission: Date Dissection – There Will Be Blood
Intro: Another one of my wonderful friends has submitted a summary of one of her dates. This one is bloody. Accordingly, readers’ discretion is advised. Below is her write up, of course with my Editor’s notes. The pictures are from the actual crime scene. ————————————————————————————————————————- I ended up nearly slaying a specimen with a knife. […]
Guess Submission: Date Dissection
Intro: Below is a write-up courtesy of one of my good friends. He is new to the online dating scene and I’ve been coaching him through it. In exchange for my advice, he agreed to submit a summary of his first in-person encounter with an online dating specimen. (For the record, specimen is a gender-neutral […]
Online Dating: Example of a quality, simple message
Specimen: I want you to know that you’ve captured my interests. I’m intrigued to know what’s on your mind. If the feeling is mutual, then I’d be happy to engage with you in conversation. Let me know your thoughts. Analysis: This message is short and to the point. It may even be a cut/pasted message. […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Semipro
Mr. Semipro: Hello there beautiful..how are you today??Im Eric 32yrs of age from Hollister 831,very out going,a semipro football player,i work,drive,etc..was wondeering if you would like to get together sometime for coffe/drinks,or simply take a walk on the beach an watch the sun set an talk?? ERIC Analysis: Oh, he works and drives? How wonderful, […]
Online Dating Fails: Three’s a crowd?
Specimen: You are so beautiful, that figure is amazing. My girl wants me to find someone who we can be friends with and play with.. do you like girls too? Sorry for being so upfront Analysis: You may be surprised to learn that there are many couples seeking a third online. There are sites for […]
Online Dating Fails: See, Saw, Seen
Specimen: Hellooo!!! How are you? I was looking through your profile and liked what I seen …. My name is Eric. Hit me back if ya want to get to know me! Analysis: saw*