A. Background Emotions. Who needs them? Since roughly the age of 12 or 13, I’ve been trying to suppress mine. Almost a decade and a half later, I still haven’t succeeded. During my college years, my “you can’t affect me” masquerade was fairly effective. I held the MoMo feeling fortress down and all potential trespasses were shot on sight. In 2006, […]
Online Dating: Hugs to homeless
Princess MoMo: Do you really hug homeless people? Hugger of the Homeless: Yes, I really hug homeless people. Everyone could use a love-filled embrace, especially those people who are often gazed upon with some of the most wretched looks people can evoke. One just never knows how much a kind word or a smile can impact someone’s […]
Online Dating Fails: Snooki
Specimen: You look really really really alot like Snooky. Has anyone ever told you that???????????????????????????/ MoMo: Yes. Stevie Wonder once told me that. Specimen: Joking… you look way better than Snooky… WAY better
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Perfect
8/28/2011 6:41:34 AM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never met i was checking my email and saw your pic. i think u r attractive…i would like to get to kno u :) I personally think i would be perfect for u :) 9/4/2011 2:17:18 PM Mr. Perfect: hello how are you doing, we never […]
Online Dating Fails: Mr. Plagiarizer
Plagiarizing Specimen: fcuking sh*tyour profile is longer than mine ! FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK ! Now I might have to write and add more humor to it. Gee thanks ! Vik Princess MoMo: Yours isn’t even original. It mirrors posts I’ve seen on craigslist. Step your game up. —————————————————————————————————————— Coincidentally, the day before this specimen messaged me, I […]
P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept
Tired of online dating? Own a motor vehicle? Like stickers? If you answered yes to these questions, please read below! P-Mo’s Friend’s Dating Advertising Concept: Taking vehicular advertising to a new low. Going to try a new dating tactic… You know those family stickers that are on the backs of vans and stuff that show […]
Online Dating: MoMo the online dating profile proofreader
Princess MoMo: You’re incredibly hot, but I’m not into all of the tatts. Anyway, I’m writing to inform you that there’s at least one typo in your profile. It says “endulge.” The proper spelling is “indulge.” Best of luck. Overly Tatt’d Specimen: :) thanks for pointing that out to me good luck to you as well
Online Dating: Incompatible
Specimen: hi you seem like a great girl, and are super cute – with a bunch of losers on this site, how could you pass up the opportunity to meet a great guy like me? haha – i figured a silly/arrogant approach would at least get your attention haha :) im matt btw, nice to […]
Conversation re: Mr. Plane
Conversation between P-Mo and her cyber bff re: Mr. Plane: Cyber bff: I’ve decided that it is slightly suspicious to have a farm and not have any animals. Not even a couple of dogs? Princess MoMo: So do you think he’s disguising burial grounds for his female specimen victims as a farm? Cyber bff: Possibly. […]
Online Dating: Mr. Car
Mr. Car: 1. You’re probably thinking I’m nuts. 2. However, there’s a method to my madness. 3. I’d like to meet a man who is more intelligent than a third grader. 4. Many of those who have written to me on here have trouble commanding basic English. I think you’ve been commanding this website frequently lately. […]
Online Dating Fails: Five times too many messages
8/21/2011 9:23:38 AM Specimen: HOW U DOIN……………………………………………………………………….. 8/21/2011 2:39:33 PM Specimen: u to pretty 8/23/2011 6:31:20 PM Specimen: how u doin 8/25/2011 2:28:38 PM Specimen: hey.. 8/26/2011 11:58:02 AM Specimen: how u doin ——————————————————————————————————————- Analysis: Sending five messages devoid of substance is an ineffective approach. I give him credit for his persistence, but not enough […]
Princess MoMo’s Manual Labor
Princess MoMo’s mama enlisted her to assist with one of the worst things imaginable: manual labor. Upon parking her MoMo-mobile, Princess MoMo witnessed her brother from the same mother conducting some terrain-oriented reconnaissance and hood MacGyver-ing the castle gate infrastructure. Using cable ties, he was attaching poultry netting to the bottom of the fence. Why? […]
Online Dating Fail: When at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…
August 13, 2011 Specimen: I really wish we didn’t live so far apart. You’re absolutely gorgeous and if your personality is even half as great as your looks I would have loved to take you out some time. Happy fishing :) Btw, I really liked your profile and wanted to answer the questions..but clealy it […]
Princess MoMo on the Farm (abridged version – almost 30% shorter than the original)
This post is about my recent dates with Mr. Plane (so named because he owns a plane). Last weekend’s adventure (our first date) involved him whisking me away from the treacherous lands of New Jersey to Martha’s Vineyard. After reflecting upon this experience for two days, I concluded that a more subtle approach to a first date would […]
Online Dating Fails: Another persistent one…
June 19, 2011 7:20 p.m. Subject line: :-) Message: :-) would one symbol have the same effect as a one worder.? i guess i will have to make it two symbols since your email setting require my letter to be longer :-P hopefully this make my sarcastic email here more humorous June 19, 2011 Subject line: :-) […]