This is the third, and sadly not final, installment from stalkerdate.com. (To view stalker message 1, click hippymike the poet. To view stalker message 2, click Crazy Lion Guy.) User: ups1123 Age: 35 Location: Allentown, PA, United States Date: June 4, 2011 Are you a real live Princess? I happen to have a thing for […]
Online Dating Fails: Stalkerdate.com: David the Lion Beast
Who is worse? David (read messages below) or HippyMike? Steadfast_lover2 Age: 41 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Message 1 sent on June 6, 2011: Hello, Momo,..perhaps a chat? David1 Message 2 sent on June 6, 2011: Momo,..are you getting any of my messages,..and would you be interested in a chat,..so that we might get to […]
The Berry Tree
Princess MoMo, for the most part, doesn’t like the outdoors Because there are many things existing out there that she abhors Such things include bugs, birds, dirt and poisonous plants Many of those elements have been the subject of MoMo’s rants Today she thought nature was offering her peace And that all of its unpleasantness […]
Princess MoMo’s Jump Rope FAILS
Even though MoMo is competent in cart-wheeling, her ability (or lack thereof) in jump roping leaves much to be desired.
Specimen Dissection June 17, 2011
On Tuesday, June 14, 2011, this specimen initiated cyber contact with Princess MoMo. That night, the two conversed on the telephone. They agreed to meet on Friday at 9 p.m. MoMo admonished him that he would have to maintain contact with her over the course of the days leading up to the […]
People Who Stalk MoMo’s Friends
While attending a first grade parents-only event, a silly specimen made advances on Princess MoMo’s friend Vanessa via bar napkin. Below is a picture of the vehicle of flirtation. Mike the dreamer didn’t stop there. Subsequent to his intro by napkin, with which Vanessa should have used to wipe her hands clean of him, […]
Online Dating: An enjoyable message exchange example
Specimen’s opening message: Subject line: The problem is no one thinks they suck Creative profile, very concise :) I think you’d be better off at a barnes & nobles than this site, but since you’re here I just wanted to say: hi lil mama, you mad fine Princess MoMo’s response: Hey big papi, I’m glad […]
Online Dating Fails: Digital Deficiency
Specimen: hi im kon u are cute tex me lets talk 215REDACTED not oin hre alot hwt nationalty are u Princess MoMo: Is there an issue with your fingers? Specimen: wht u mean sweety Evidently, including all letters in a word was too much to ask from this specimen.
Annoying Facebook Messages From a Random Person Who Sucks
Facebook Unattractive Cantankerous Kid (“FUCK” for short): Hi Princess Princess MoMo: I’m not really interested in exchanging bullshit messages. If you have something substantive to write, fine. If not, don’t bother sending me two word garbage. Thanks. FUCK: Wanna say that to my face? Princess MoMo: No thanks. You’ve further proven you have nothing of substance to […]
Online Dating Fails: A dumbass message and Princess MoMo’s poetic response
Specimen’s opening message: tell me please lil mama. why is that we never talk?? never grab dinner? never go out? never chill out and watch movies. go get ink work done,lol? fishing/offroading/paintballing/sky diving trips? motor cycle trips, never do anything? lol tell me please babe. names joe if interested, nd I am sophisticated enough […]
Special Delivery: Princess MoMo gets a package
Princess MoMo and a specimen for whom she has not yet coined a name had a date scheduled for Friday, April 29, 2011. Arrangements for this date were made roughly two weeks in advance. However, thanks to sloppy facebook practices on MoMo’s part, she not only canceled the date, but potentially offended the specimen. On […]
More on RoboCop
Background: Princess MoMo has known RoboCop since 2005. Every so often, he makes advances on her. Said advances used to be more frequent, but it appears that at some point, rejection became less appealing to him. He recently denied her of a PBA card for about a month and a half because he is of […]
Conversation with Former Specimen RoboCop
RoboCop: I’m going to the gym. Princess: Yeah, you used to be more jacked. You looked better that way. What happened? RoboCop: I hurt my spine. Princess: How? RoboCop: I was doing 315 lbs. shoulder shrugs, competing against my buddy. We were basically having a dick measuring contest. Princess: And you didn’t measure up, did […]
Texts with a Non-Detestable Specimen
After the initial exchange and first date with the non-detestable specimen (“NDS”), Princess MoMo was apathetic until NDS once again temporarily became amusing (not for long though). NDS and MoMo had an interesting telephone conversation during which they joked about procreating to form either a mini-MoMo or NDS Jr. Subsequent to their hypothetical joint […]